one foot on the Truth, the other on a banana peel

 i've never been a roller coaster person, despite my desire to be.

some time in my early teens, i went with some friends to a roller coaster park, and one girl i liked hanging out with was willing to go with me on the smallest, least dramatic roller coaster available to "ease into" the fun. there are only a few things i remember about it:

1. it was called "the mousetrap."

2. it was unreassuringly creaky and clanky, and (in my opinion) unnecessarily jerky and whiplash-y.

3. as i was envisioning a future of paralysis from neck injury, my friend was sitting next to me as comfortably as if she were on a sofa… reciting a few Psalms that she had memorized for just such an occasion. it was stunning, amusing, shocking… annoying… amazing, really.

i'm finishing a 5-part series about martin luther on a newfound history podcast, and one of the more interesting aspects is that the hosts are atheists. ikr?!? overall, they give a better description of the reformation than I feared, although they've kept strictly to only one of the 5 "solas:" sola scriptura ("only scripture").  in total, they are: sola fida, sola gratia, solus Christus, sola scriptura, soli Deo gloria. in meaning, they state that salvation is through faith alone, by grace alone, in Christ alone, as in the Scripture alone, for God's glory alone.

bunny trail: back when such a thing was possible, my mom majored in latin. she knows all the reasons for sola vs. soli vs solus, and had she lived in martin luther's time, i bet his Bible translation would have been finished even earlier and perfectly proofread. i have zero talent for language, except american english. i don't even do english-english, because sorry-not-sorry we won that war, king george.

the one "sola" they've stuck with makes sense, because it's really the only "tangible" concept there that you could expect an atheist to explain. in addition, the Scriptures contain the others for the most part, so i can give them partial credit without difficulty.

i believe they are mistaken on some aspects of the story, like some (most of) of his motives, and the reason for his resolve is never explored. which is bonkers, when you go a mile in luther's crocs and think through the implications of what this lonely until-then obscure guy did and said. leaving out the "why" is a major logical "whoopsie."

then they take that logical slippery slope like an unhitched roller coaster car. 

down a greased track. 

in a lightning storm.

somehow- couldn't tell ya how- but somehow, they wind up at the conclusion that martin luther- the guy who set off the protestant reformation and basically changed the trajectory of a major branch of Christianity- that martin luther!!- is just like one of those liberal "pro-palestine" protesters. yup. they said that.

bunny trail: i hate political bunny trails, but i really thought they'd hold out longer. key difference between them and martin luther? luther actually accomplished something- but that's just my limited analysis.

the podcasters, being the religious-roller-coaster daredevils they are, [cut the brake line and whip around a hairpin turn and] declare martin luther is a radical who cast off the oppressive regulations of the religious authorities so he could "live his truth." they [fly down that deconstruction track as they disengage all safety mechanisms and] hypothesize that atheism is the natural conclusion to the protestant reformation, because if luther could trash everything the catholic church produced except the Bible, why not chuck that, too? luther was "living his truth," and so should we! 

[**gruuuchkkkniunckkngkkkngkngkngk**  that's the sound of the roller coaster car veering around a corner and shooting off the track's end, grinding to a halt in a pile of twisted, sparking metal. the podcasters go airborne, floating through the atmosphere on their own fanciful theories. they haven't yet landed.]

luther was not "living his truth." he had read the Bible and discovered The Truth. "I AM the Way, the Truth, and the Life," Jesus said (john 14:6). martin poured over the Bible from beginning to end, laboring meticulously to wring out the meaning of words like "grace" and "propitiation" and "faith." he knew somewhere in that mountain of church writings, doctrines, and practices lay the answers he so desperately needed. after digging through the top layers of grass and dirt, sand and loose gravel, he hit the bedrock. finally, a place he could stand, a place that could support the tremendous weight of the gospel of Jesus Christ. this gospel is the pearl of great price. the buried treasure the rich man sells his entire estate for in order to buy the otherwise useless field. for him, and for luther, this was worth e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g.  his job, his reputation, his friends, his family, his time, his strength, his every heartbeat.

any faith you build on dirt or sand won't stand up to more than 2 puffs and a huff from the big bad wolf.

but on a layer of bedrock? you couldn't have a harder, more solid foundation under you. "on this rock I will build My Church, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it" (matt 16:18, emphasis added). "this rock" is understood within protestantism to refer to the gospel, peter's confession that Jesus was the Christ, the Son of the Living God.

that's what luther realized. "i cannot and will not recant anything, for to go against conscience is neither right nor safe. here i stand- i can do no other. so help me, God."

this, after encountering the Truth about God's holy wrath intersected by His redeeming grace.

this, in response to his religious and political authorities, who had consolidated power and turned faith into a spiritual one-a-day tablet ["available for a price. discounts applied at register. one indulgence per customer per confession. may not be combined with any other relic sale or promotion"].

bunny trail: so. many. questions. about those indulgences. what was the return policy? what if you bought one for someone who'd already gotten one the previous year from a different relative? what did you do with it? how long did they take to work? what if it got lost or destroyed?

this, knowing his life was at stake.

this, knowing he'd be accused of disrespect, heresy, offensiveness, stupidity, recklessness, and who knows what else.

there are some things in which, in all practicality, it is impossible to *not* take a stand on. to say you are *not taking a stand* is in itself taking a stand. standing on very shaky dirt and sand, but still.

the gospel of Jesus Christ is one of those things. the Bible containing that gospel is thus necessarily one of those things.  either it's true, or it's not. the very second you add or subtract to the Bible and its gospel, you are just strapping yourself into another roller coaster cart behind my atheist buddies. yeah, that one- with no lap bar and the bent axle. good luck.

another quote i found, also attributed to martin luther, is this: "the truth of the matter is rather as Christ says: 'he who is not with me is against Me.' He does not say, 'he who is not with Me is not against Me either, but merely neutral.' " i've visited multiple churches in the past while that are trying (unsuccessfully) to find that gray area of both sound doctrine and societal acceptance. they're trying the podcaster's idea of discarding the Bible, and they will wind up in the same place- nowhere. or rather, nowhere good.

i've been blessed not only by much more theologically sound podcasts, but mostly by multiple returns to the sacred refuge of that glorious gospel. no matter who or what tries to offer me a watered-down version, i can't take it. every manner of spiritual and political authority is making power-grabs all over the freaking place, now trying to offer up a politically correct, utterly inoffensive, store-brand religious one-a-day.

i don't have all the answers; neither did good ole doc luther. but we have far more than enough to give me confidence in the holy, inerrant, Word of God. i stand firmly in the gospel of Jesus Christ. i believe His words. i trust His promises. He is the propitiation for my sins, and i trust Him fully for my salvation and have the Holy Spirit as a "guarantee of the inheritance" in heaven until the day i get there. this gospel is "old-fashioned." it is "weird" and apparently, "on the wrong side of history." it is most definitely not "cool." but it's true, and I'm staking my entire eternity on that simple fact.

bunny trail: when did history start having "sides"? and where is the edge, or corner, or fold? who makes that decision? seriously!

this, because i've encountered the Truth in an undeniable, unavoidable way. i had the smallest possible glimpse of my sin from the Truth's perspective, and then nearly drowned in the flood of that same Truth's redeeming grace. that encounter is one the reality of which i simply cannot deny or avoid, and it demands that i respond accordingly.

this, knowing i'll be (or have already been) accused of disrespect, heresy, offensiveness, stupidity, all manner of phobias and "anti-"s, and i don't know what else.

what i do know is that however many loop-de-loops and twists this roller coaster of life blasts me through, there's an absolutely safe ending: standing before the heavenly throne, praising my Savior and God without restraint and without end. 

"there is one gospel on which i stand 

for all eternity.

it is my story, my Father's plan:

the Son has rescued me.

oh what a gospel, oh what a peace,

my highest joy and my deepest need!

now and forever He is my light;

i stand in the gospel of Jesus Christ.

there is one gospel to which i cling.

all else i count as loss.

for there, where justice and mercy meet,

He saved me on the cross.

no more i boast in what i can bring,

no more i carry the weight of sin.

for He has brought me from death to life;

i stand in the gospel of Jesus Christ.

there is one gospel where hope is found;

the empty tomb still speaks.

for death could not keep my Savior down,

He lives, and i am free!

now on my Savior i fix my eyes,

my life is His and His hope is mine.

for He has promised i, too, will rise;

i stand in the gospel of Jesus Christ.

and in this gospel the Church is one,

we do not walk alone.

we have His Spirit as we press on

to lead us safely home.

and when in glory still i will sing

of this old story that rescued me.

praise to my Savior, the King of Life,

i stand in the gospel of Jesus Christ."

 

"there is one gospel," words and music by jonny robinson and rich thompson

downfall of the cults

 

one of the first decisions nik and i made together was to make a conscious effort in changing our entertainment values- both how much time we spent on, and the actual content of, what we would watch. it was helpful for me, because i knew i spent too much time with some tv show or other running in the background while i did housework or crafts and such.  i enjoyed having the sound of conversation in the house, and so i got used to listening to netflix shows even when i wasn't actively watching them. nik pointed out to me on a few occasions how much time the tv spent being on, and the conviction cut deep- rightly so.

this decision we made was also helpful because it gave me that extra motivation to lean into my nerdiness and see that list of documentaries on my watchlist.

bunny trail: so far, my favorite was the docuseries about the black plague and how it helped shape society- and how society actually affected how, when, and where the plague spread. i may have watched half of it twice.

 

in addition to stuff in the science and history worlds, i have a fascination with cults- how they formed, how they veered off the path of truth, how to have intelligent conversations with those in a cult, etc. turns out there's a fair amount of audio and visual learning freely available.

bunny trail: feel free to give me any suggestions of random, good, clean, podcast/video/shows on anything cool.

 

my new series is brought to us by netflix, and is entitled "leah remini: scientology and the aftermath." to say the least, it is eye-opening. every episode reveals yet another "woah" moment where scandal after scandal has been covered up, families broken apart, lives ruined, local and federal officials manipulated, non-scientologists targeted and children taken from parents and brainwashed and abused for years. and this is if even only half of it is true.

don't even get me started on the whole "xenu the alien god" thing.

 

bunny trail: ask me about the whole "xenu the alien god" thing. woah.

 

not only has dear leah remini displayed sooooo much that the scientologists would love to keep hidden for always and eternity, but amazon also recommended a kindle read for me, which of course, i read, about another well-known cult: mormonism. 

 

this book was an autobiography of a barely-15-year-old child who becomes the (6th) sister-wife of a major leader of the mormon branch that relocated to mexico in order to continue their practice of polygamy. "favorite wife: escape from polygamy" was so interesting i could barely put it down and interrupted nik's work multiple times to tell him new developments in the story. it was exciting, sad, weird, personal- so many things all at once.

quick history lesson: after joseph smith had a revelation that started mormonism, he engaged in polygamy and then stated he'd had a revelation from God revealing that polygamy is awesome. after they all moved to the utah territory to escape persecution, they continued polygamy until the US government made outlawing polygamy a condition for making utah a state.  then joseph had another revelation from God revealing that polygamy is no longer awesome. but he forgot to edit that verse out of their book of doctrines, he kept having contradictory revelations, and then he died, so i guess we will never know how God really feels about having dozens of wives.

 

i both love learning about these cults and hate seeing how many ways there are to distort the truth and lead people astray. it doesn't take much to turn a soul-saving message into a soul-sucking one.

 

my main podcast resource (for cults, anyway), is Cultish, where 2 christian friends interview others who have come out of these erroneous belief systems.  they find many of the same issues with the jehovah's witness cult as leah does with scientology, and in a hypothetical question to her, they ask the crucial question: what have you freed them  to ?

 

coming out of something bad doesn't really do much, if it lands you in something only slightly less bad. this isn't one of those "mostly dead is slightly alive" kind of things, even with chocolate-coated pills. a faith is either true, or it is not true. leah can pull folks out of scientology all she wants, but then she drops them into a spiritual landscape of barren wilderness. dropping your phone into a full bathtub might be mentally easier than into a toilet, but in the end it doesn't matter because your phone is still KO'd.

 

the answer to that all-important question posed by "cultish" is both obvious and mysterious. it is easy and extremely difficult. it can save your life in one sense, but could also kill you in another.

 

those who have come to Jesus with a background of cults are fighters- truly. years of hardcore intentional brainwashing and indoctrination are seemingly impossible to put down and walk away from.

but some did. and it's because they found that answer- a tool, a weapon, really. 

a cult's worst nightmare.

it's called the Truth.

 

i got a vague sense of something in "favorite wife", and got super excited when i discovered i was right.

this 20-year old girl, after suffering 5 years of use, abuse, neglect, and more under the authority of the elected "preacher" (her husband), the "prophet" (her brother-in-law), and the "super-sleazy evil, creepy, lying, murderous scumbag" (her other brother-in-law), she is confronted with an idea from another disgruntled mormon: don't just blindly follow what you're told when your eternal soul is at stake; find the truth for yourself.

 

she took that idea and ran with it. and for an under-educated woman with no human to help with her theological dilemma, she caught on pretty quickly.

 

guess. what.

all she did was pick up a Bible and start reading.

 

if her husband hadn't been busy with his mission work and 9 other wives and 40+ children, maybe he would have noticed and made her stop.

the funny thing is, she didn't even get very far before she realized something was seriously wrong (with mormonism). she found a seed of truth in a verse that I NEVER would have referred anyone to. the seed sprouted and grew. it took a couple years, but the fruit of her search was worthwhile. at the risk of her safety and that of her 5 children, she left the whole community (while they excommunicated her; in essence, it was a mutual ditching), moved back to the states- and kept reading the Bible. she finds the Way, the Truth and the Life, and plays a part in the salvation of several of her old sister-wives and many of their children. chains busted, prisoners freed, gates of hell slammed shut, eyes opened, souls saved- all because she picked up a Bible and started reading.

 

i go through phases where daily quiet time is not very "daily." i've been reading through Ezra, and lemme tell you it is not a thriller tale. i alternate between that and my Bible memory verses, which is good because Bible memory is good, but also kinda bad because it's partly to avoid Ezra, even though i am almost to the end. even by typing this out the guilt is rising.

 

i know i underestimate the value of the Bible. i have a glimpse of its full worth in my head, but acting on that knowledge is a regular struggle. even for someone who loves books as much as i do.

but the Bible is so much more than just a book. it's satan's kryptonite. it's hubbard's worst enemy. it's mormonism's antidote. it's a formidable weapon that God put in our hands, and that many of us shove onto our shelves and forget about. we accept whatever the man behind the pulpit says, regardless of whether he's speaking from the Bible or maybe just holding one closed in his hand- then we slip back into a spiritual coma for another week.

 

sometimes you just need to see what life is like under the corrupted version before you can recognize and fall in love with the Truth all over again. that might be another underlying reason i have this odd fascination. the more i hear of these distortions, the more i tighten my hold on what i know to be true.  i can still remember what my life was like before i could clearly see what the first apostles did; it was not to the same extreme, but i recognized the look in the eyes of leah remini's friends- grief, shame, loss, fear, hopelessness. most of that is because leah only brings these friends halfway. out of one cult, into another: the cult of "find your own truth," "you do you," "love is love is love," etc. what has she freed them to? what CAN anyone free them TO? the answer to this cult is the same as the answer to all the others, and indeed, to all the false religions.

 

the answer is the Truth, and His name is Jesus.

only the Truth can truly liberate one from the slavery of a cult to the wide-open freedom of Christ.

the Truth can only be found in Him. and He chose to reveal that Truth about Himself in a book, which He describes as a sword. Jesus knows the strength of the falsehoods that surround us. Jesus also knows the power of the Truth, because He IS the Truth. it's His people who forget that the Bible IS the revelation of the Truth- of God Himself!- so that by using this "sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God" we are really letting the Spirit work through us to bring the salvation of the Son with all the power and authority of God the Father in heaven. if we remembered this, we would never neglect the Bible like we do.

 

the time is now to unsheathe the Sword and join the war against falsehood. read Ephesians 6 and you'll see that we have been called up for active duty and given all the unlimited resources of heaven itself, to bring emancipation to those enslaved to sin and to help bring about the downfall of the cults. we will not see the complete end of them until the second coming of Jesus but under His banner we wage this war "against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places" emboldened by the confidence of ultimate victory. 

 

so grab your (spiritual) fighting gear and come with me as we follow the LORD of hosts!!!

… as soon as I finish Ezra…

the old, the new, the borrowed and blue

one of the most fascinating things about life is the variety of relationships that spring from it. the idea of belonging originates with God’s relationship to man at creation before growing increasingly complex and beautiful. God institutes the marriage covenant between Adam and Eve who, together with their children, form the first family in Genesis. while the word “family” has persisted in language to refer to a group of people related by marriage and/or genetics, the pages of the Bible actually show a huge broadening of meaning.

 

united by genetics and marriage, Adam and Eve form the first family unit, as they are joined through God’s marriage covenant and then produce offspring. as we all have experienced, family ties are difficult to sever, no matter how far apart its members go. a “family,” with parents and children, are the basic building blocks of every society; weaken one and the other will inevitably start to crumble. even beyond dna, God has infused each family with its own unique relationships, dynamics, experiences. these give a human a sense of history, of belonging- even children brought up in an adoptive home have an innate desire to understand who their birth parents were, where they came from, how they fit into the history of both their families and the world. i think part of that is a God-given sense to find their way back to their very first Father, as He is the One who puts each of us into the earthly families that He does.

 

united by calling, we read of Levites eating celebratory meals together as they perform their duties in the Tabernacle and receive their designated portions- coworkers sharing their lives as they share the tasks - and the food!- God designated for them. a group of guys from all the different branches of a huge extended family tree, working in shifts to keep the Tabernacle in tip-top shape 24/7/365- the one single place around which the entire society literally revolved (no pressure, guys). in the New Testament, Jesus and a bizarre collection of men spend several years together doing everything a “normal” family does (even though at least one of them was married): eating the Passover together (a family/holiday event), walking, sleeping, talking, bickering, learning, growing, working, loving… all as a single, cohesive, group that becomes more close-knit than most any biological family.

 

united by faith, you see God continually inviting non-israelites into their community. several hundred years later, Paul the Apostle explains it clearly and repeatedly as many wild olive branches grafted into one cultivated olive tree. that one olive tree is the Church, and is a family that connects people from every language, nation, and people group. the family that began with a man, a woman, and their kids in Genesis becomes a family that encircles the globe in Revelation and spans every era. the 64 books in between trace the divine expansion of the word “family” and shows God’s plan unfolding to include every ethnicity. this Church family is way more incredible than we generally acknowledge, but we feel the ache inside when we go very long at all without coming together- like what we have all been feeling this year being separated from friends and family for Easter, and summer vacations, and Thanksgiving (and probs Christmas, too, now…). that's you missing your family!!

 

united by purpose, Paul the Apostle writes of his fatherly affection for Timothy who faithfully continues in their evangelistic mission. Timothy was raised in the faith by his grandmother, and we know nothing of his own parents. wherever they were, Paul takes him under his wing and basically adopts him as they travel and preach. having completed his training, Timothy is set as pastor of one of the churches he helped plant with Paul, and he is then commissioned to not "only" preach, but also to be an example of the same kind of adoptive church leader that his congregants can then model themselves after. every Christian is a member of the worldwide Church family, but within that body of believers, there are relationships that form that are so close, so foundational and formational, that this usage of "adoption" and "family" is the only language that is really appropriate, genetics be darned. i don't have much doubt at all that if Paul was anywhere near his young charge for Thanksgiving, they would be sitting side by side at Timothy's grandmother's house (because really? who else can make mashed potatoes and casseroles like a grandmother?).

 

 

To my OLD family:

 

thank you.

a friend asked me once what my favorite thing about my church was, and my immediate response was, “my old people!” my Church family is a blessing i would be lost without, and you as my “old people” represent the Church boldly. i cannot thank you all enough for the encouragement, support, prayers, wisdom and Jesus-love each of you has heaped upon me. i know it’s not politically correct to say “old,” but i have enjoyed having this church’s older generation to learn from as much as i have learning with the younger generation in the cubbies class. “gray hair is a crown of blessing,” and man, you make those crowns look good!!

you've helped me move, you've hosted me in your homes, you've done my yard work. you have fed me, you have visited me when sick, sent birthday cards, kept me sane during a hard year of studying. you reached out to me as a Union student, asking me to stay in Jackson starting sophomore year. you have openly shared your joys and griefs, your gains and losses, your struggles and victories, and how your enduring faith has brought you through it all. a few of you have even done me the honor of being my patients in the hospital ;)

you ran to the altar with open arms (and tissues and coffee) when i joined the church by baptism, you have supported me on mission trips without restraint, and you are generally a fabulous group of people that i wouldn’t trade for anything. 

 

 

To my NEW family:

eye wuvz yoo. my newest biological family- my “niephews,” you are the best things about family gatherings. i love snuggle parties on the couch, reading the same 5 books a hundred times, and seeing your artistically genius abstract crayon drawings on my fridge. i wish you could all stay small forever, but i also look forward to seeing who you grow up to be. 

to the newest family member by marriage… you already know i love you, or i wouldn’t be marrying you today. i have no idea what plan God has for our family, but there’s no one else i’d rather be with to find out.

to the soon-to-be newest family member by marriage… i’ll never think anyone is good enough for my sister, but i guess you’re pretty close. i promise to forgive you at some point for taking her all the freaking way to arizona. welcome to the clan!!

 

To my BORROWED family:

i guess this all goes to show you never know what you’ll find in a garbage dump.

what started as a “simple” mission trip turned into the beginning of a new phase of growth in my life and proof of God’s providential care, supplying for my needs at a crucial time before those needs even arose.

thank you for being a place to go when i needed safe haven, and a constant source of support and laughter. the blinged-out blanket forts, butter bread and extremely random youtube videos are just bonuses for the real treasure of having an “extra” family to be a part of. when i needed a “home” closer than 800 miles, you provided one. when i needed to know why my car was making those weird sounds, you were there. when i just needed time to mend, you opened your emotional first aid kit and got to work. when i didn’t know what i needed, you helped me get back on track. when life knocked me down, you hauled me to my feet. you made the concept of adoption a natural part of your lifestyle and i am the better for it.

 

To my BLUE family:

very few people know what we do, and even fewer people know how and why we do it. spending hours on our feet to take care of sick people large and small (and smaller) doesn’t spell “fun” for most anyone. we have accepted our unique role in society, and that we can be an odd crew- especially those of us on the night shift! i would contend that we are odd also in the way that we are such a “family”- we celebrate birthdays, weddings, births. we gather together for holidays (because we have to, but still) and weekends, and support each other through thick and thin. wedding showers, baby showers, retirement parties, holiday feasts, birthday potluck dinners, kids’ school fundraisers- all these things are like separate strings that form an uneven web where our individual lives and families intersect. not only celebrations, but we have also shared tears of loss and frustration and hurt at times- a biblical kind of love that forges relationships deeper than the word "coworker" conveys. i’m rather proud of my small collection of “work moms” who make sure to check up on me when i travel more than 0.25 miles from my house, and friends who are an endless source of knowledge and fun, as well as being able to serve our little, bitty patients alongside you. it’s an honor. i love you all!

 

 

the sad sage

i had the great privilege the other day to join my fiancé in an atypical conversation with a deist who i'm willing to bet has a very high IQ. before the server had even brought the bread and salad i was roped into the discussion the guys had going before we met up: the origin and potential end of the universe. umm, yeah. by the arrival of the steaks, we could add quarks, black holes, spirits, the apocalypse, the purpose of man, the exclusivity of Christianity vs hinduism, the crusades, scientific theory, the similarities and differences between the major world religions, and the weird tesseract-like layer of pure energy enveloping the sun that supposedly could power the world for like, a billion-jillion years. [and also whether or not nik copied my order because he realized my choice of steak was superior, or if he really had independently decided on the exact same meal. i hold the former, he the latter.]  because we weren't done with the discussion, we split a massively unhealthy dessert so we could finish talking…exactly where we began, but so full of food that i couldn't slouch and breathe at the same time.

 

and while it was a true privilege, i walked (or rather, waddled) out of the restaurant fighting off waves of frustration- and wonder, oddly enough. it's been a hot minute since i've met a person who not only believes in nothing that can't be explained a mathematical formula, but who also doesn't care at all. he gets the physical world. he thinks he has a grasp on the world religions. computer code? nailed it. steve jobs? stephen hawking? loves 'em. but for himself, life is a giant shrug. does he have purpose? eh, probs. *shrug*. is there something not strictly physical about a person? dunno. *shrug*.  what does he think about the possibility of eternity, and what that could mean for him? huh. guess i'll find out when i get there. *shrug*. he's content to focus on his career right now and worry about the afterlife later. he's got places to go and good things to do now.

 

a rising number of individuals from this generation have embraced this sort of thinking, though. take this friend's thought process, add some eastern-style clothing and a yoga mat, and you've got just enough religion to make these busy people feel safe without inconveniencing them with concepts like absolute Truth. i mean, if all these super-spiritual ideas come from old, dead, bald guys with single names- like, "confusious" and "ghandi" and "buddha," it must be wise enough to live by, right?  it all sounds 100% legit… until you process what you're being told.  

 

i've got a scratch-off poster of 100 really cool books to read ("cool" here applicable only for major nerds).  it includes everything from harry potter to the time machine to the origin of the species to the fireman to watership down. 

 

***bunny trail: harry potter- loved the series of wholesome, family-oriented characters with a wonderful moral compass, leaders worth following, and followers who know the value of friendship, loyalty, honesty and respect. time machine- amusing and fun. the origin of the species- darwin seems to think if he uses enough science words then most everyone would rather accept the theory than be bothered to suffer through more than a chapter or two. he's not wrong. the fireman- the absolute worst book to read during a global pandemic that kills people almost at random, causing most of society to shut down, about a global pandemic that kills people almost at random, causing most of society to shut down (the cool part being that instead of coughing, the victims of this pandemic spontaneously combust). watership down- bunnies galore. it's like a hug for the soul. read this one.***

 

with my library book app charged up, i began one that sounded fascinating- mahatma ghandi's "my experiments with truth"- his autobiography. i love hearing from leaders of other cultures and countries, especially ones who project wisdom, justice and some level of spirituality.

i was too far in to quit (and determined to complete the scratch off poster), but i wish i could have. it's depressing. for all his wisdom, justice and spirituality, after 300+ pages there is only one "truth" that ghandi was hardcore, dead-set, steadfastly sure of in this life. wanna know what it is? vegetarianism. i wish so bad i were lying.

 

is there a God? well, there's some kind of god/life force in all of us; this force has no name or specific characteristics, but it definitely/probably hears prayers and keeps me from temptation to eat meat or even drink milk.

which exclusive religion is true? eh, they're all true; i shall teach all my friends' kids to follow whatever god/life force they want, to be hard-working, and to not eat meat or even drink milk.

what "is" good or bad, or right or wrong? being mean to any living thing is bad and wrong; therefore i shall be good and right by never eating meat or milk. and also most grains. and spices. and eggs.  i shall eat bananas and walnuts all my days.

is there an afterlife? i sure hope so. even more days to eat bananas and walnuts.

 

this man who was so kind and respectful and honest to a fault never finds the truth he's looking for. he spouted words, phrases, ideas from the Bible and hindu teachings… but seemed to contradict both faiths; he wouldn't go for hinduism because he frankly didn't know anything about it, and he shied away from Christianity because it was boring. really. that was his reason. but since he was kind and respectful and honest and vegetarian, he has earned his place as a role model, leader, sage.

i feel it is worth actually saying that in many ways, he was indeed a role model, leader and sage. he gave his life to improving race relations, easing the suffering of the mistreated lower classes, feeding the hungry, educating the poor, giving them a voice in their country's government, practicing self-control in all things, and holding himself to very high moral standards. he was probably the first, and also last, truly honest lawyer who actually didn't lie to, for, or about any judge, witness or other lawyer. he promoted freedom of religion, openly (yet respectfully) spoke out against horribly unjust government practices, and led by example in all things.

 

but he never found truth.

he never reached the point of "satyagraha" (reliance on/pursuit of truth) where he felt he was pure enough. he prayed to "God," but was fully convinced that "there is no God but Truth." and he was still searching for it. his fasting hadn't helped. his impressive legal practices hadn't helped. his long list of excellent, kind, noble, peaceful, (vegetarian), generous, wise deeds… hadn't helped. 

 

what kills me, and what made me want to stop reading was when i saw just how close he was to the true Truth.  about 2/3 through his book, i read this:

 

"i hold today the opinion as i held then. to my mind the life of a lamb is no less precious than that of a human being. i should be unwilling to take the life of a lamb for the sake of the human body. i hold that, the more helpless a creature, the more entitled it is to protection by man from the cruelty of man. but he who has not qualified himself for such service is unable to afford to it any protection. i must go through more self-purification and sacrifice before i can hope to save these lambs from this unholy sacrifice. today i think i must die pining for this self-purification and sacrifice. it is my constant prayer that there may be born on earth some great spirit, man or woman, fired with divine pity, who will deliver us from this heinous sin, save the lives of the innocent creatures, and purify the temple."

 

and he did. ghandi died still pining for the Lamb who gave His life freely- it wasn’t taken- in order to not just purify the Temple, but to purify us and make US the new Temple. we have been delivered from every heinous sin, because God in His unfathomable, divine, "reckless" love caused to be born on earth that Holy Deliverer Jesus Christ. He didn't save innocent creatures, because innocent creatures have no need of saving. "Jesus Christ came into the world to save sinners, of whom i am the foremost" (1 Timothy 1:15). we are sinners, whose even "tiniest" of sins is an affront to God's holiness and incompatible with His character. perfection simply cannot be with even a slight imperfection without becoming itself imperfect. no matter how much ghandi (or you, or i) fasts or how little he lies, or how much he donates to the poor, he will never be perfect and thus literally cannot be in the presence of a perfect God. only a perfect sacrifice can make that possible. and that sacrifice is Jesus.

 

ghandi's prayer had already been answered, and ghandi refused to believe it.

the absolute worst part is that ghandi has now spent 72 years of atoning for his lack of perfection- and he still has an eternity. he will never be perfect enough to save even a little lamb, much less himself or another human.

in the world's opinion, if there is a heaven, then ghandi is definitely there and probably has one of the biggest mansions of all.

however, one thing ghandi got (mostly) right was that God is Truth. and the truth is that those who are not delivered from their heinous sins by the Lamb must themselves pay the penalty, which is eternal separation from God.

that's where ghandi is right now- he's in hell. that's where all the self-sufficient "nice people" who did "good" things are- they are in hell.

that's where my newest acquaintance will go if he chooses to continue his current plan of walking into eternity with zero concern. he will go to hell.

 

i made it to the end of the book, at last.

and if you are reading this, you made it to the end of this post.

i learned quite a bit from ghandi, but i hope somehow i'm not the only one.  my prayer is that his life and message might compel someone to find what the sad sage never did. if it's my new friend, or you, or your friend- whoever it is who finds the Truth will be blessed indeed.

phylactovirus 11:18

i love learning. i think the best part of graduating from Union's MCS program is that i no longer have to write papers, but the worst part is that now i have to create the opportunities to learn on my own, rather than having someone smarter and wiser say, "hey- this textbook/article/essay/sermon/TEDTalk is awesome and you will be a better person for having experienced it."

i went to a music recital at Union tonight with another church member, who introduced me to everyone around as "a Union grad, times 2!" and so i got to experience yet again the facial expressions when each person found out my master's degree has absolutely nothing to do with my bachelor's.

it means i'm a giant nerd. i love big books. i love reading assignments. i love discussion groups and questions and interactions, just like i love patient care and needles and vital signs and IVs.  i have accepted my role, the same way i accepted both degrees- with a flippin' giant smile.

of course, the absolutely best thing about my favorite ginormous book…

[rabbit trail conversation starter: since when is "ginormous" a legit word? whose job is it to update microsoft's autocorrect to recognize it as correctly spelled, and not put the little squiggly red line under it?]

anyway…. the absolutely best thing about my favorite ginormous book is that no matter how many times you read it, there is always more to learn. (either that, or i'm an idiot who forgets the same things each time, and realizes them again upon re-reading it).  i'm sure personal context is a factor as well. the bigger factor is that this book's words are living and active.  they are not dusty and mildewed like ancient archives in a medieval castle. they are not stale like those maple-flavored cheerios i don't like and that have since turned to styrofoam. they are alive. they have relevance to people today, just as they did thousands of years ago. 

another "of course," you can't possibly look at a screen for more than 7.2 seconds without hearing about covid-19. as if it were the only thing of relevance to humankind, this strain of respiratory disease has captured the attention of the globe, causing normally (supposedly) rational people to lose their minds and buy every last roll of toilet paper in their ZIP code.

[rabbit trail conversation starter: what. the. heck. it's a respiratory disease.]

because for some reason it wasn't happening before, suddenly people are washing their hands, covering their coughs and staying home when they are sick. (this is where the entire medical community simultaneously retches and rolls its collective eyes). somehow, what decades of flu seasons haven't done, coronovirus-19 has accomplished. people are paying attention to their hands, their heads, what they do, where they go, who they listen to.

i'm nearing the end of 2 kings in my self-study, and am right about 3 kings after 10-ish tribes get demolished and chained and hauled off to Assyria because of a mile-long list of abominations and evils. i'm also about 3 kings before the same fate comes to the remaining 2-ish tribes. right in the middle there is king josiah.  great-grandson of hezekiah (one of my favorite kings), he starts off strong and finishes well. but most of that, i'm fairly positive, is because something even more astonishing than a virus popped up out of nowhere and brought a royal young leader to his knees.

his priests were doing their spring cleaning, which hadn't been done (properly, anyway) for a number of years, because josiah's dad and grandad were… well, they bring to mind phrases like, "evil beyond compare." they were colossal failures, and took delight in murder, intrigue, child sacrifice, the occult, demon/idol/spirit worship, and more. so it's fair to say that the Temple had been somewhat neglected for about 75 years (massaseh reigned 55 years, amon reigned 2, and then josiah reigned 18 before this point).

but during the cleaning and repairing of the Temple, hilkiah the priest comes across a Book. he is so excited he rushes to find shaphan the king's secretary and tell him, "dude, i found a Book." (2 kings 22:8, my words). these priests, who serve the Living God, and not the pagan idols, immediately recognize the treasure they are holding in their hands. they throw down their dusters, lysol and brooms and make the discovery known to the king, and the entire Book is read to him. and for the first time, the nation of judah is paying attention to their hands, their heads, what they do, where they go, who they listen to…

…because some of the words that made josiah's blood drain from his face were these: "you shall therefore lay up these words of Mine in your heart and in your soul, and you shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes… see, I am setting before you today a blessing and a curse: the blessing, if you obey the commandments of the LORD your God, which I command you today, and the curse, if you do not obey the commandments of the LORD you God, but turn aside from the way that I am commanding you today, to go after other gods that you have not known" (Deuteronomy 11:18, 26-28). 

by the time of Jesus, the jewish religious elite had taken these words so seriously that many of them literally tied little boxes- phylacteries- containing Bible verses to their hands and foreheads. even though it turned into a source of snobbish pride and comparison for many (the equivalent to comparing cars and houses was comparing numbers and sizes of their forehead boxes), it was a tangible reminder of those commands that God's people were to follow. what commands? the command to serve only the One True God, to love Him with everything they have, say, do; the commands to treat others with love and justice and mercy; the commands the Living Word to their children; the commands for how to have holy, righteous, glorious relationships and jobs and families and societies; the commands to saturate their lives with those living words- basically, the commands to do the exact opposite of what the past 3 or 4 generations of hebrews had done.

and how do you keep those commands? it's not by guessing. it's not by having "a sincere heart." it's not by meditating on positive thoughts, or even listening to those happy prosperity gospel preachers on tv. it's definitely not by shoving your Bible on a shelf for 75 years.

no, i am not recommending that you replace your soap with a box of Bible verses.

for the love of all that is righteous, wash your filthy hands and leave some toilet paper and sanitizer for other people, too. (you do realize that to not get sick, you need other people to also not be nasty and to wash their hands as well, right?) don't be ridiculous.

but i am saying that as long as society is all but shutting down for a while for a virus that can harm your physical body, you take the extra free time to pay attention to this other issue that can definitely damage your immortal soul.

there is absolutely no way to follow God, keep His commands, worship Him as He should be, or to raise a family well, or to serve God at your job or hobbies, if you ignore His Word. there just isn't. God, in His infinite wisdom and grace, chose to reveal Himself to us in these written Words, and promised Life everlasting to the ones who paid attention to them. if you hate reading, there a zillion apps that will read it to you for free. if you genuinely care about your soul, you will find the time, the motivation, the willpower, to do it. no, your salvation is not earned in any way by physically reading the Bible. but salvation is found there- in Jesus the Living Word, and in Him alone.

it's not all roses and sunshine. josiah was immediately convicted when he realized his own sin, and that of the people he was leading. he tore his robes and lamented. david was convicted like few we read about- and yet the Living Word kept drawing him back. the psalms he wrote tell just how much he relied on the Living Word that he met in the Bible, because even though he was reminded often of his sin, he was reminded also of the God who forgives even sinners like himself who turn to Him in true repentance, the God who breathes Life into dead bodies, makes bread for thousands fall from heaven every day for decades, and sent His own Son to bear the curse that was meant for us.

i'm telling you, even though conviction sucks like a vacuum, this Living Word will breathe into a life such vitality that one wonders if they were truly living before encountering Him.  Jesus Himself is the Living Word, the "Word made flesh," and the life He gives is one that no virus can affect in the least.

a picture worth 4 words

a few years ago our church ordered the updated AWANA program materials, which was a blessing and a loss for me, as a large part of my work had now been outsourced. every wednesday, i would show up early in order to get everything organized and set up and photocopied and labeled.  the most time-consuming part, but an intriguing diversion, was to come up with pictures for each week's Bible story.  for some reason, in another classroom in that wing are 2 massive wooden shelves or drawers stuffed with what appears to be every single Bible picture card that any baptist ever drew.  the oldest copyright date i've located predates the Cold War. 

i loved rifling through so many creative expressions of these scenes of David or Nebuchadnezzar or John the Baptist or Moses.  while i don't know what Moses looked like, i'm pretty sure he wasn't white, and i'm very sure he didn't have google eyes.

while i don't have to fight anymore to find an appropriate picture, in that mess of cardstock i actually took my favorite one and now keep it in our Cubbies room with our flashy new google-eyed picture cards.  it was such an inspiration to me, and even now i wonder at it. it's an artist's conception of one of my favorite Bible stories, even though there is no action, no drama, no loud noises or excitement at all.  it's two people, talking.  that's it.

but one of those people is Nicodemus. and the other person is Jesus. 

i identify strongly with Nicodemus on many levels.  i can more than imagine- i can remember- what he was thinking that night.  he was creeping in the shadows to Jesus's house because he would die of shame if anyone knew that someone raised in the church, who'd made a profession of faith and been baptized at 12, who read her NIV Bible every day and knew all the trivia answers… if someone like that still didn't know the basics of that religion?  if they struggled with anger, depression, forgiveness, trust?  if they could quote tons of verses but couldn't life them out? if they'd rather die than go one more day without peace or hope or something bigger than myse- i mean, himself- to live for? oh wait.  that wasn't Nicodemus- that really was me… but Jesus sat down that night and talked to him anyway. no sneer of contempt.  no raised eyebrow or turned up nose. He said, "sure. come on in- let's find a quiet place to chat."

and then that pasty-white, brown-haired, blue-eyed Jesus told Nicodemus the same incredible story that the google-eyed Jesus helped me tell the Cubbies last week. although the editors cleaned it up a bit, the picture card is pretty clear about what's happening to Jesus on that cross. to the left is a giant red "C" with 4 words underneath: "…Christ died for us." 

the 1986 version depicts that proud Pharisee sitting in the dark, hoping none of the members of his Sanhedrin facebook group tags him in a picture with a "heretic" like Jesus. he's aware of what hangs in the balance, though, and he knows it's worth risking a visit to this man who somehow speaks about God like He's real, and close, and personal, and powerful, and wise, and every bit as incredible as the Torah says He is. Nicodemus wants that God- at the very least, he wants to seriously look into it.  he's not ready to ditch the prestigious job, and he can't quite figure out how someone can be "born again," but he also knows there's something different about Jesus.

as i look into options, here and abroad, for sharing that same Good News on a longer-term basis, i've made sheets for each of the Cubbies to take home and share their story or verse with family and friends each week.  i bribed them with hand stamps, but hey…

holding myself accountable to that goal, i was given the opportunity to share the Gospel with a few people myself. a couple of them responded like Nicodemus's Sanhedrin friends did, complete with name-calling, self-righteousness and complete rejection (not unexpected, but my soul hurts for them anyway).  but one responded like Nicodemus. he can't quite let go of the Hinduism he grew up with, but he knows there's something different about Jesus.  he wants a God who listens to prayers, who cares about his burdens, who doesn't require penance for every single individual sin.  he wants to know what's going to happen to him after his life here ends. he wants justice for the evil he sees everywhere humans go. 

the best part is that Jesus gave Nicodemus 4 other words: "For God so loved…"  God loves the self-righteous as much as He loves the Hindu.  which is good, because otherwise i would have been chucked out on my ear. Jesus continued to say, "For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life."  that's a promise. a mighty big one, at that.

and it's one that everyone needs to hear, because that promise is to them also.  

there's about a 0% chance that you do not know someone who needs to be told those four words "for God so loved."  someone you know is struggling with doubts and concerns and needs to hear, "Christ died for us."  you may or may not get a response.  that response may or may not be positive.  but just a few words can change a life.  Nicodemus was changed, and he makes an appearance at Jesus' cross with other believers.  i was changed, and i showed up at the cross, too- just a few thousand years later.  you were changed, or you never would have read this far.  

celebrate that.  celebrate the change in your life, because it's mind-blowingly awesome what God did for you. 

then find your "nicodemus" and have a chat with them.  it can all start with a few words.

"conviction" is furry and wears a blue vest

to quote the King of Rohan, "….so it begins."

tonight marks the beginning of Year 9 of working in the Cubbies' classroom.  we're trying something new, and splitting the class into 2 slightly more manageable-sized groups this year, so good luck to us.

a whole new school year of impressing upon young minds the incredible worth of the Bible.  of telling them stories from that Bible.  of teaching them lessons from it.  of encouraging them to imitate those who follow it.

basically, a year of trying to not be a giant hypocrite.

 

this Bible is one of the most under-appreciated things ever, and i am being extremely foolish every time i neglect it.

our guest speakers for LifeGroups this past week were missionaries with Wycliffe Bible Translators, and it took about 7 seconds to convict the entire congregation.  it went something like this:

"who's got a Bible in their house?"  *almost every hand goes up*

"who's got three or more Bibles in their house?" *a fraction of those hands goes down*

"…. who's read any of those Bibles this week?"  *cricket cricket*

woah.  i'm still reeling 3 days later. yes, i'd read my Bible, but it was honestly more out of guilt than anything else.

this Bible?  this book is what John Hus was burned at the stake for translating and then smuggling out the English texts, so that it could be printed and distributed.

this book transformed Martin Luther's life and inspired him to accidentally trigger the Protestant Reformation.  he spent his long months hiding by translating the New Testament from the original Greek and Hebrew into German, because it was worth his life to put the Scriptures into the hands of the people.

this book is what can get you arrested in China.  it'll get you shot in a number of countries. 

this book is carefully ripped into sections and passed around to believers in underground house churches, so that each member can have even just a bit of it, and then trade.  even the believer that winds up with the Leviticus section weeps with joy and holds it close to their heart as they treasure each word, knowing what will happen if they are caught with those torn pages.

this book is…. it's costing lives.

this book is what i walk past and ignore on days when i feel "too busy." it's what i have 3 cop-no, wait, 4 copies of…hold on- 5!, and can pull off a shelf and read with as little effort as any other book.  it's what i remember a few key pieces of, and ignore the parts that i don't like.

you can't possibly judge me more than i'm judging myself right now.

but here are a few more facts:

the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and marrow, discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart. Hebrews 4

the word of God is the sword of the Spirit- the only offensive weapon included in Paul's list of spiritual armor. Ephesians 6

the word of God is Truth- not *a* truth, not just true, but The Truth. John 17

the word of God is what Jesus embodied when He came to rescue us hopeless sinners. John 1

the word of God is life-giving. Deuteronomy 8

the word of God is what "makes us wise unto salvation"- how we discover the way back to a saving relationship with Jesus. 2 Timothy 3

the word of God is the primary way the LORD of hosts chose to reveal Himself to humans, making the word of God worth more than an obligatory 10 minute read every day.

can't read or don't read? no problem: get an audio version, download an app, and get through the whole Bible in 72 hours.

don't understand it or hate it? … please know you are not alone.  you are experiencing what every human experiences when they read Numbers and ask, "why on earth did God think i needed to read this?!?"  but also please remember.  remember these facts that we know.  the Bible is the very word of GOD ALMIGHTY.  it was breathed out by the Holy Spirit, and it is ALIVE. instead of turning away from the Bible, these feelings and frustrations should instead drive us into it more, as we plead and pray with God to reveal to us what He wants us to get out of those verses that make you mad/sad/happy/confused/excited/nervous/etc. 

a friend told me once that she had heard a spiritual leader say that he was going to take a break from reading the Bible, so that he could focus more on living it out.  it seems rote Bible readings had become dull for him, and he was seeking a way to make it more… exciting? real? special? i don't know.

but i do know that that is the WORST idea i've heard, like, ever. how do i know that?  because i read the Bible, and found these examples, among many, many others:

-Moses tells the Israelites to read and meditate on the Scriptures day and night and here and there and everywhere (and in a box, and with a fox and in a house and with a mouse….)

- after they rebuilt the temple, Ezra and Nehemiah have a dedication service where they… read the Law from beginning to end while the people stand in reverence for the entirety.

-when Jesus was tempted by Satan himself, the only things to come out of His mouth are Bible verses.  how did they get there?  by His studying and reading and meditating.  if we are called to live like Jesus, then this is absolutely part of it.

-Peter, Paul and John (and also John) all write repeatedly to their fellow Christians to remember God's words and guard them and preach them and know them. 

it's really hard to do (like, impossible) if you never read it.  you'd never know if your pastor is preaching the truth or drifting if you never read it.  you'll be knocked to your feet next time Satan comes around if you never read it.  you'll never, never, ever be able to live out your faith if you quit reading.

anybody or anything that encourages you to stop reading the Bible (for any period of time) is under evil influence, pure and simple.

if it's dry and dull, you don't quit.

you get a different translation and KEEP GOING.

so my encouragement - mostly to myself- this school year is to do just that:  keep going.

as i ask the Cubbies each wednesday if they learned their weekly Bible verse, i should ask myself, "what verses am i memorizing or meditating on?"

as i try to bring Bible stories alive, do i remember that my reading in the middle of Ezekiel is also living and active, written for me and preserved for me, so that i could know and love God?

as i live out my faith so that when they imitate me i'm not totally embarrassed, do i also tell them that it's because the Bible has changed me?

on days when i just feel like i can't keep going and Satan won't leave my proverbial doorbell alone, do i pick up my sword or do i let it lay (lie?) there?

if i were on a deserted island for 40 days, and could have a Bible OR a double bacon cheeseburger every day, which would i choose?  Jesus chose the Bible.  that's how good it is. 

if you need a partner, either for accountability or just company, as you continue/renew/begin Bible reading, talk to me.  the first verse we're doing is in John- great place to start. let me know how far you've gotten next week.  my conviction came in the form of a cartoon teddy bear with an obnoxiously blue vest; what does yours look like? ha ha- whatever it takes to get us into these Bibles is a blessing.

and if you memorize one of the verses, i might even give you a Cubby sticker ;)