the old, the new, the borrowed and blue

one of the most fascinating things about life is the variety of relationships that spring from it. the idea of belonging originates with God’s relationship to man at creation before growing increasingly complex and beautiful. God institutes the marriage covenant between Adam and Eve who, together with their children, form the first family in Genesis. while the word “family” has persisted in language to refer to a group of people related by marriage and/or genetics, the pages of the Bible actually show a huge broadening of meaning.

 

united by genetics and marriage, Adam and Eve form the first family unit, as they are joined through God’s marriage covenant and then produce offspring. as we all have experienced, family ties are difficult to sever, no matter how far apart its members go. a “family,” with parents and children, are the basic building blocks of every society; weaken one and the other will inevitably start to crumble. even beyond dna, God has infused each family with its own unique relationships, dynamics, experiences. these give a human a sense of history, of belonging- even children brought up in an adoptive home have an innate desire to understand who their birth parents were, where they came from, how they fit into the history of both their families and the world. i think part of that is a God-given sense to find their way back to their very first Father, as He is the One who puts each of us into the earthly families that He does.

 

united by calling, we read of Levites eating celebratory meals together as they perform their duties in the Tabernacle and receive their designated portions- coworkers sharing their lives as they share the tasks - and the food!- God designated for them. a group of guys from all the different branches of a huge extended family tree, working in shifts to keep the Tabernacle in tip-top shape 24/7/365- the one single place around which the entire society literally revolved (no pressure, guys). in the New Testament, Jesus and a bizarre collection of men spend several years together doing everything a “normal” family does (even though at least one of them was married): eating the Passover together (a family/holiday event), walking, sleeping, talking, bickering, learning, growing, working, loving… all as a single, cohesive, group that becomes more close-knit than most any biological family.

 

united by faith, you see God continually inviting non-israelites into their community. several hundred years later, Paul the Apostle explains it clearly and repeatedly as many wild olive branches grafted into one cultivated olive tree. that one olive tree is the Church, and is a family that connects people from every language, nation, and people group. the family that began with a man, a woman, and their kids in Genesis becomes a family that encircles the globe in Revelation and spans every era. the 64 books in between trace the divine expansion of the word “family” and shows God’s plan unfolding to include every ethnicity. this Church family is way more incredible than we generally acknowledge, but we feel the ache inside when we go very long at all without coming together- like what we have all been feeling this year being separated from friends and family for Easter, and summer vacations, and Thanksgiving (and probs Christmas, too, now…). that's you missing your family!!

 

united by purpose, Paul the Apostle writes of his fatherly affection for Timothy who faithfully continues in their evangelistic mission. Timothy was raised in the faith by his grandmother, and we know nothing of his own parents. wherever they were, Paul takes him under his wing and basically adopts him as they travel and preach. having completed his training, Timothy is set as pastor of one of the churches he helped plant with Paul, and he is then commissioned to not "only" preach, but also to be an example of the same kind of adoptive church leader that his congregants can then model themselves after. every Christian is a member of the worldwide Church family, but within that body of believers, there are relationships that form that are so close, so foundational and formational, that this usage of "adoption" and "family" is the only language that is really appropriate, genetics be darned. i don't have much doubt at all that if Paul was anywhere near his young charge for Thanksgiving, they would be sitting side by side at Timothy's grandmother's house (because really? who else can make mashed potatoes and casseroles like a grandmother?).

 

 

To my OLD family:

 

thank you.

a friend asked me once what my favorite thing about my church was, and my immediate response was, “my old people!” my Church family is a blessing i would be lost without, and you as my “old people” represent the Church boldly. i cannot thank you all enough for the encouragement, support, prayers, wisdom and Jesus-love each of you has heaped upon me. i know it’s not politically correct to say “old,” but i have enjoyed having this church’s older generation to learn from as much as i have learning with the younger generation in the cubbies class. “gray hair is a crown of blessing,” and man, you make those crowns look good!!

you've helped me move, you've hosted me in your homes, you've done my yard work. you have fed me, you have visited me when sick, sent birthday cards, kept me sane during a hard year of studying. you reached out to me as a Union student, asking me to stay in Jackson starting sophomore year. you have openly shared your joys and griefs, your gains and losses, your struggles and victories, and how your enduring faith has brought you through it all. a few of you have even done me the honor of being my patients in the hospital ;)

you ran to the altar with open arms (and tissues and coffee) when i joined the church by baptism, you have supported me on mission trips without restraint, and you are generally a fabulous group of people that i wouldn’t trade for anything. 

 

 

To my NEW family:

eye wuvz yoo. my newest biological family- my “niephews,” you are the best things about family gatherings. i love snuggle parties on the couch, reading the same 5 books a hundred times, and seeing your artistically genius abstract crayon drawings on my fridge. i wish you could all stay small forever, but i also look forward to seeing who you grow up to be. 

to the newest family member by marriage… you already know i love you, or i wouldn’t be marrying you today. i have no idea what plan God has for our family, but there’s no one else i’d rather be with to find out.

to the soon-to-be newest family member by marriage… i’ll never think anyone is good enough for my sister, but i guess you’re pretty close. i promise to forgive you at some point for taking her all the freaking way to arizona. welcome to the clan!!

 

To my BORROWED family:

i guess this all goes to show you never know what you’ll find in a garbage dump.

what started as a “simple” mission trip turned into the beginning of a new phase of growth in my life and proof of God’s providential care, supplying for my needs at a crucial time before those needs even arose.

thank you for being a place to go when i needed safe haven, and a constant source of support and laughter. the blinged-out blanket forts, butter bread and extremely random youtube videos are just bonuses for the real treasure of having an “extra” family to be a part of. when i needed a “home” closer than 800 miles, you provided one. when i needed to know why my car was making those weird sounds, you were there. when i just needed time to mend, you opened your emotional first aid kit and got to work. when i didn’t know what i needed, you helped me get back on track. when life knocked me down, you hauled me to my feet. you made the concept of adoption a natural part of your lifestyle and i am the better for it.

 

To my BLUE family:

very few people know what we do, and even fewer people know how and why we do it. spending hours on our feet to take care of sick people large and small (and smaller) doesn’t spell “fun” for most anyone. we have accepted our unique role in society, and that we can be an odd crew- especially those of us on the night shift! i would contend that we are odd also in the way that we are such a “family”- we celebrate birthdays, weddings, births. we gather together for holidays (because we have to, but still) and weekends, and support each other through thick and thin. wedding showers, baby showers, retirement parties, holiday feasts, birthday potluck dinners, kids’ school fundraisers- all these things are like separate strings that form an uneven web where our individual lives and families intersect. not only celebrations, but we have also shared tears of loss and frustration and hurt at times- a biblical kind of love that forges relationships deeper than the word "coworker" conveys. i’m rather proud of my small collection of “work moms” who make sure to check up on me when i travel more than 0.25 miles from my house, and friends who are an endless source of knowledge and fun, as well as being able to serve our little, bitty patients alongside you. it’s an honor. i love you all!

 

 

How to be Awesome

i don't know if anyone on this planet has taken longer to make it through the Book of Luke than I have.  of course, most people haven't ever even thought of trying to in the first place.

i'm finally getting near the end.  we're moments from the climax.   SO excited!

the Christmas festivities are over, memories and joy still fresh in our minds, and now i'm reading through the story of those moments that He came here for.  that huge moment we just sang, read, heard, and partied about- the Immortal becoming a mortal, Heaven meeting earth in the wildest manner- was all leading up to this even huger moment: the first, last and only innocent mortal becomes the guilty, the Captain becomes Expendable Crewman, the King becomes lowest of the low, the world as we know it turns upside down and inside out and even the natural elements shake, rattle and roll in protest, tossing newly un-dead people out of their graves, the sun forgetting to shine, earthquakes cracking the ground open, curtains splitting top to bottom. now that ought to raise your blood pressure a bit!

i'd been reading pretty slowly, maybe a section or two at a time, which could be 2 verses or 20, depending on how much dear Dr. Luke had to say.  but this last bit he's been going faster, shooting out bits and pieces as fast as his little quill can go 'cause he just can't help himself.  i think he's getting excited too because he knows what's coming.

he's retelling a story he's heard bunches of times, reliving that epic weekend and wishing that he could have been there with his journal and sketchbook. 

it's the Jews' biggest holiday, full of merrymaking, songs, family get-togethers,  in-law jokes, memories, gift-giving, travel and traffic jams, tradition, and worship of the best kind.  a time to be together and spend time with those closest to you, remembering the past and always looking forward to the future. 

sound familiar? it should. you just survived it ;)

so Jesus is there despite all the intra-national chaos He's caused, with His very closest friends- just 12.  well, 11 really, but there's a black sheep in every group (just most really aren't quite this black). 

and He, like usual, drops a major bomb on the scene, and turns the party into a panic scene.  if they'd been paying attention, they would have recalled His mentioning this before, but they weren't so they didn't.  but they sure noticed when He took the tradition to a whole new level , introduced a new spin on the Passover, and started talking quite frankly about dying and then coming back to life.

can you just imagine the "hugeness" of this moment?

all these things suddenly "click" in their heads, and like any other rational human being who just figures all this out, they completely freak. their best friend, future King who's going to kick out Rome, who can instantly cure anything, the smartest and wisest and fairest of all, the fulfiller of all their hopes and dreams- he's going to get murdered very soon, one of their best friends was a treacherous son of the Devil, and yet Jesus was unflustered. 

and then because Luke wasn't there, he just keeps on documenting what happened next…

ten seconds.  well, maybe it took more than that. 

but only one verse.

one. verse. later.

and these grown men are animatedly discussing who's going to be the Next Great Thing.  Jesus is sitting right there, Judas had just walked out, EVERYONE'S ETERNITY IS HANGING IN THE BALANCE, and He's watching them go from the having worst kind of emotional pain to bullies-  in the span of one verse. 

these friends suddenly turn into...well, childish jerks.  once they figured out who the Worst one was, Judas, now they all had to figure out their own rankings and who was the Greatest and would be named Team Captain once Jesus was gone. they'd been together for a few years, some of them were brothers and best friends for decades and so there was a wealth of ammo they could use on each other.  i wonder what Jesus' facial expression was as he listened to them try to prove to each other why they were each better than all the others. 

i don't know how long that whole convo went on before He spoke.  in my head i can see Him, just starting to talk.  not raising His voice.  not standing on His reclining pillow and making a toast.  not even begging anyone's pardon or asking to be excused to say something.  just starting to talk.  and then one or two noticed and turned their attention, so that the other nine or ten did, too.  part of me wonders if their host was around the corner eavesdropping on what this guy has to say.  everyone who was an Israelite knew this man was a sensation and attracted discussion, debate and chaos like never before- and this guy gets to host Him for the Passover!!!  well, what a story he had to tell his friends and curious neighbors later!!

and then, just like He's so good at, Jesus took all their lofty dreams, goals, aspirations, and Disciple of the Year Awards and flushed 'em.  ripped 'em to ribbons.

and replaced them with something entirely different, and entirely better.

zoom in on Peter, as he hears Jesus tell him that the leader is a servant, the Captain is the foot soldier, the CEO is the janitor. a few small sentences, and the whole definition of "Awesome" is redefined.

and Peter?  well, Peter just looks down, a bit embarrassed, and what does he see?

he sees his feet.  the feet that just minutes before had been washed and dried by the one he himself had openly confessed to  be the Lord Jesus Christ a while back- and had received his own name "Peter" at that same time. 

i have one little bitty post-it note in this section of my Bible.  right after graduating college i was "promoted" to the adult LifeGroup, which had been working through the book of Luke for possibly longer than i have been, and one statement stuck out and i just had to jot it down and never forget it.  so i did, and i haven't. 

one little quote:

"Jesus didn't tell us to be The Greatest.

Jesus told us to be Great."

and then He showed us how.  every day, for years with His disciples, and then one night with one paragraph.

He tells us, "here's how to be Awesome": 

you're winning that argument you're so "right" about? be quiet and forgive the "wrong" person.

you see nasty, dirty, smelly, arthritic feet with ingrown toenails and warts?  wash them, and give them a pedicure.

you see dirty dishes in the sink when it's "their turn"?  wash them anyway, and take out the trash while you're at it.

you see a WWII vet having lunch at Chili's?  pay his tab.

you see an antagonistic neighbor who has no friends because he's argued them all away having lunch all by himself at Chili's?  pay his tab, too, and tell the waiter to send him one of those wickedly delicious chocolate brownie desserts with ice cream and drizzle.

actually, He went a bit farther. 

"Peter, I just told you I was gonna DIE. 

that's not the END of Me being your Captain- it's the CLIMAX. 

YOU GUYS DON'T REPLACE ME, YOU FOLLOW ME.

I healed the blind, I played with kids at the playground, I blew the mind of that tax collector's world, I had lunch at that demon-possessed hooker's house with all her demon-possessed hooker friends- you know, you were there with Me, too, when those lives changed!! you saw the mute men speak, and you saw the Pharisees silenced. you shook hands with those newly-cleansed lepers, you witnessed that moment when a blind man saw the color "green" for the very first time, the first steps of a grown man no longer a cripple.

NONE of those moments were as incredible as the moments coming up. I rocked all their worlds; I'm about to rock yours.

THIS IS HOW YOU BE AWESOME. 

you die.  you follow my example, all the way to the Cross.

i'm going to die.  and then rise again, Captain of all Captains.

you're going to fail.  you're going to fail quite epically, in fact, and soon.  tonight.

but you're going to rise again and be a… brother.  not a Second in Command, or King, or Time's Person of the Year.  you don't get a badge or a crown or a cape. but failure though you are, you get my seal of approval. 

I prayed for you.

you are Mine. Satan asked for you; I said No.  I am telling him No, all the way up Golgotha.

THIS IS HOW YOU BE AWESOME.

…

follow Me."

the cool thing is when you keep reading Luke and you see it all happen.  Jesus dies...and then rises again.

Peter struggles.  Peter fails.  Peter turns back, follows Jesus and becomes a different kind of leader.

now it's my turn.

i struggled and failed at least as badly as Peter, but my Leader succeeded.

i walked around Calvary, but my Leader leads me UP Calvary.

my hands dripping with guilt are clean because my Leader's hands dripped with His own blood shed for mine.

my turn to look at my feet, cleansed with His forgiveness. 

my hands, cleansed by His love. 

my soul, with no other mark than His own Seal of Approval.

and my turn to get those feet following the Leader up path to Awesomeness. 

wanna come, too? please do- you're welcome to join me :)

bring it on, bonheoffer!

no, i haven't died- all 7 of you who read this can rest assured :P

it's just been one of those… summers… where everyone else has all this free time and can't wait until they can send their kids back to school and the heat backs off and they are spending their  time gardening and cooking and vacations and tanning by the pool.  and then there's me, thinking "if only i could get people to coordinate their heart attacks." because then i'd get a summer break, too.  but i can't and so i don't.  i've been working one or two nights, with one or two nights in between, for a good number of weeks and it leaves little time for things like blogs. or anything else.

but i have had just enough time recently (like, the past week or two) to do some thinking. (yeah...haven't had much time for that either until now).  and because i'm probably going to have to wait a bit before i do much of it again, my brain went from "oh-look!  silence! let's think about something happy, like flowers" to "let's re-evaluate everything in your whole life.  right now."

yup.

the problem: it's a pretty short list right now.  basically, i have a handful of values and beliefs that just aren't going anywhere.  but then there's me, and i don't seem to be going anywhere, either.  which just feels weird.

we're chugging away through the Bible and seem to be perpetually stuck in the OT histories, an endless cycle of sin, prophets, judgement, redemption, and then right back to sin.  a ton of those kings never even got halfway through the cycle because they were such jerks they got themselves and their families executed in an extraordinarily short amount of time (like, a week after gaining the throne).  

but more than the rebellious kings, what is getting to me this time is those prophets.  daggum, it is not glorious.  not at all.  i do not envy their occupation.  however, they didn't get to choose it.  they were told to go be a witness, to all kinds of people in ALLLLL kinds of ways.  and they didn't even stop to say "Yes, Lord." the next verse is them talking to others, telling them there's another way, a righteous way, to go. 

now the problem continues: in addition to those values and beliefs, there are a couple goals and dreams.  but for the most part….that part of the list is already done and accomplished.  the other few i don't have a whole lot of say in, or else maybe i'll toss them out or cross them off. 

elijah, jeremiah, isaiah, jonah, ezekiel- none of them had too many plans that God thought were more important than His. jonah disagreed for a bit, but he was overruled.  every one of them were sitting around enjoying daily life when out of the blue, God told them to drop what they were doing and enter into a mysterious and insane mission with nothing to lean on but a promise- and so they did. 

couple hundred years later, a couple poor fishermen and a tax collector and some of their buddies make the same choice without even a promise.  two words, "follow" and "me" and they're all in.  practically speaking, THEY'RE BONKERS.

fast forward a couple thousand years and then there's us.  enjoying our daily lives, not worrying about too much, making our summer plans… what if something random and crazy fell out of the sky and landed on your front porch (if you have one). something telling you there's more out there, and there are people on the other side of the globe that don't know about it.  and you're supposed to tell them. 

if that "you" changes to "me" all of a sudden i hush up. i feel like i'd want to be more like jonah than jeremiah.   jackson, tennessee is not exactly the promised land, but i doubt that i have the nerve to pluck up and move. 

bonhoeffer, in his eloquently composed "The Cost of Discipleship" had a section just on this.  we hold back- and we've been given ten times the promises and guidelines that the apostles were.  one of them was that it wasn't going to be easy.  but another one was that it would be totally worth it.  he lost me on a couple of his general principles, but i kinda wanna go back and read those sections before i decide to take on a guy like Bonheoffer. 

right now, i watching 3 of my favorite people on earth pack up and prepare to leave this end of a very long state and move to the other end.  they were told to go and so they are going.  part of me wishes that i had a place to go on to, to feel like i'm moving forward and actually doing something….and the other part really wants me to settle down here, get to the point where i'm more comfortable with calling this place my home.  the other other part of me is confused and politely declines to make a statement at this time. 

what am i going to do? well, i'm going to go to bed because it is almost 3 am.  then i'm going to wake up and get ready for work tomorrow night.  and i'm going to work as though tomorrow night will be the last time i see anyone there, knowing that at any time it may actually be.  i might be headed the exact wrong direction, but i do have every confidence that at the right time, God is strong enough to break through my brain and turn the lightbulb on.

and if i get swallowed by a beluga whale in the process, well, the life of an un-extraordinary prophet ain't all blueberries and bubble baths- but what a great story to tell later on!!