downfall of the cults

 

one of the first decisions nik and i made together was to make a conscious effort in changing our entertainment values- both how much time we spent on, and the actual content of, what we would watch. it was helpful for me, because i knew i spent too much time with some tv show or other running in the background while i did housework or crafts and such.  i enjoyed having the sound of conversation in the house, and so i got used to listening to netflix shows even when i wasn't actively watching them. nik pointed out to me on a few occasions how much time the tv spent being on, and the conviction cut deep- rightly so.

this decision we made was also helpful because it gave me that extra motivation to lean into my nerdiness and see that list of documentaries on my watchlist.

bunny trail: so far, my favorite was the docuseries about the black plague and how it helped shape society- and how society actually affected how, when, and where the plague spread. i may have watched half of it twice.

 

in addition to stuff in the science and history worlds, i have a fascination with cults- how they formed, how they veered off the path of truth, how to have intelligent conversations with those in a cult, etc. turns out there's a fair amount of audio and visual learning freely available.

bunny trail: feel free to give me any suggestions of random, good, clean, podcast/video/shows on anything cool.

 

my new series is brought to us by netflix, and is entitled "leah remini: scientology and the aftermath." to say the least, it is eye-opening. every episode reveals yet another "woah" moment where scandal after scandal has been covered up, families broken apart, lives ruined, local and federal officials manipulated, non-scientologists targeted and children taken from parents and brainwashed and abused for years. and this is if even only half of it is true.

don't even get me started on the whole "xenu the alien god" thing.

 

bunny trail: ask me about the whole "xenu the alien god" thing. woah.

 

not only has dear leah remini displayed sooooo much that the scientologists would love to keep hidden for always and eternity, but amazon also recommended a kindle read for me, which of course, i read, about another well-known cult: mormonism. 

 

this book was an autobiography of a barely-15-year-old child who becomes the (6th) sister-wife of a major leader of the mormon branch that relocated to mexico in order to continue their practice of polygamy. "favorite wife: escape from polygamy" was so interesting i could barely put it down and interrupted nik's work multiple times to tell him new developments in the story. it was exciting, sad, weird, personal- so many things all at once.

quick history lesson: after joseph smith had a revelation that started mormonism, he engaged in polygamy and then stated he'd had a revelation from God revealing that polygamy is awesome. after they all moved to the utah territory to escape persecution, they continued polygamy until the US government made outlawing polygamy a condition for making utah a state.  then joseph had another revelation from God revealing that polygamy is no longer awesome. but he forgot to edit that verse out of their book of doctrines, he kept having contradictory revelations, and then he died, so i guess we will never know how God really feels about having dozens of wives.

 

i both love learning about these cults and hate seeing how many ways there are to distort the truth and lead people astray. it doesn't take much to turn a soul-saving message into a soul-sucking one.

 

my main podcast resource (for cults, anyway), is Cultish, where 2 christian friends interview others who have come out of these erroneous belief systems.  they find many of the same issues with the jehovah's witness cult as leah does with scientology, and in a hypothetical question to her, they ask the crucial question: what have you freed them  to ?

 

coming out of something bad doesn't really do much, if it lands you in something only slightly less bad. this isn't one of those "mostly dead is slightly alive" kind of things, even with chocolate-coated pills. a faith is either true, or it is not true. leah can pull folks out of scientology all she wants, but then she drops them into a spiritual landscape of barren wilderness. dropping your phone into a full bathtub might be mentally easier than into a toilet, but in the end it doesn't matter because your phone is still KO'd.

 

the answer to that all-important question posed by "cultish" is both obvious and mysterious. it is easy and extremely difficult. it can save your life in one sense, but could also kill you in another.

 

those who have come to Jesus with a background of cults are fighters- truly. years of hardcore intentional brainwashing and indoctrination are seemingly impossible to put down and walk away from.

but some did. and it's because they found that answer- a tool, a weapon, really. 

a cult's worst nightmare.

it's called the Truth.

 

i got a vague sense of something in "favorite wife", and got super excited when i discovered i was right.

this 20-year old girl, after suffering 5 years of use, abuse, neglect, and more under the authority of the elected "preacher" (her husband), the "prophet" (her brother-in-law), and the "super-sleazy evil, creepy, lying, murderous scumbag" (her other brother-in-law), she is confronted with an idea from another disgruntled mormon: don't just blindly follow what you're told when your eternal soul is at stake; find the truth for yourself.

 

she took that idea and ran with it. and for an under-educated woman with no human to help with her theological dilemma, she caught on pretty quickly.

 

guess. what.

all she did was pick up a Bible and start reading.

 

if her husband hadn't been busy with his mission work and 9 other wives and 40+ children, maybe he would have noticed and made her stop.

the funny thing is, she didn't even get very far before she realized something was seriously wrong (with mormonism). she found a seed of truth in a verse that I NEVER would have referred anyone to. the seed sprouted and grew. it took a couple years, but the fruit of her search was worthwhile. at the risk of her safety and that of her 5 children, she left the whole community (while they excommunicated her; in essence, it was a mutual ditching), moved back to the states- and kept reading the Bible. she finds the Way, the Truth and the Life, and plays a part in the salvation of several of her old sister-wives and many of their children. chains busted, prisoners freed, gates of hell slammed shut, eyes opened, souls saved- all because she picked up a Bible and started reading.

 

i go through phases where daily quiet time is not very "daily." i've been reading through Ezra, and lemme tell you it is not a thriller tale. i alternate between that and my Bible memory verses, which is good because Bible memory is good, but also kinda bad because it's partly to avoid Ezra, even though i am almost to the end. even by typing this out the guilt is rising.

 

i know i underestimate the value of the Bible. i have a glimpse of its full worth in my head, but acting on that knowledge is a regular struggle. even for someone who loves books as much as i do.

but the Bible is so much more than just a book. it's satan's kryptonite. it's hubbard's worst enemy. it's mormonism's antidote. it's a formidable weapon that God put in our hands, and that many of us shove onto our shelves and forget about. we accept whatever the man behind the pulpit says, regardless of whether he's speaking from the Bible or maybe just holding one closed in his hand- then we slip back into a spiritual coma for another week.

 

sometimes you just need to see what life is like under the corrupted version before you can recognize and fall in love with the Truth all over again. that might be another underlying reason i have this odd fascination. the more i hear of these distortions, the more i tighten my hold on what i know to be true.  i can still remember what my life was like before i could clearly see what the first apostles did; it was not to the same extreme, but i recognized the look in the eyes of leah remini's friends- grief, shame, loss, fear, hopelessness. most of that is because leah only brings these friends halfway. out of one cult, into another: the cult of "find your own truth," "you do you," "love is love is love," etc. what has she freed them to? what CAN anyone free them TO? the answer to this cult is the same as the answer to all the others, and indeed, to all the false religions.

 

the answer is the Truth, and His name is Jesus.

only the Truth can truly liberate one from the slavery of a cult to the wide-open freedom of Christ.

the Truth can only be found in Him. and He chose to reveal that Truth about Himself in a book, which He describes as a sword. Jesus knows the strength of the falsehoods that surround us. Jesus also knows the power of the Truth, because He IS the Truth. it's His people who forget that the Bible IS the revelation of the Truth- of God Himself!- so that by using this "sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God" we are really letting the Spirit work through us to bring the salvation of the Son with all the power and authority of God the Father in heaven. if we remembered this, we would never neglect the Bible like we do.

 

the time is now to unsheathe the Sword and join the war against falsehood. read Ephesians 6 and you'll see that we have been called up for active duty and given all the unlimited resources of heaven itself, to bring emancipation to those enslaved to sin and to help bring about the downfall of the cults. we will not see the complete end of them until the second coming of Jesus but under His banner we wage this war "against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places" emboldened by the confidence of ultimate victory. 

 

so grab your (spiritual) fighting gear and come with me as we follow the LORD of hosts!!!

… as soon as I finish Ezra…

still waiting... what a surprise!

 

i was never much into all the personality tests like myers-briggs and such- until i was introduced a few years ago to the enneagram. it's a little too true, and scary accurate. i'm a 5w6, and that means i don't much like surprises, unless it's during a period when surprises could be expected to occur, such as a holiday or birthday. i'm such a 5 that i don't let the computer put my solitaire cards up automatically, so that i can put the suits up in the "right" order myself. there's a chance i have a problem.

(bunny trail: i have just now- at this moment- realized i've never told nik that, and i can already hear him laughing in the future if he reads this. nik, stop it!!)

 

so i guess you can tell what 2020 has done to my mental constitution.

 

back when we were upset over being separated for easter, our naïve little selves were thinking fondly of gathering instead for summer vacation or the fourth of july, or labor day… or halloween… or thanksgiving… and now christmas.  nik and i moved from a quaran-dating relationship to a quarangagement one, to a quaran-wedding-planning one (which is a total blast; i highly recommend that whole experience as a character development activity). on top of a stupid germ playing cat's cradle with every relationship in the world, we checked facebook with growing trepidation not knowing what new potential disaster was wreaking havoc with what country or state. in a cruel twist of irony, the year that americans re-learned just how important teachers and nurses are was the year that national teacher's week  and national nurse's week were basically overlooked by the nation, because the nation was locked up at home and not looking at anyone else, just in case covid19 was spread by vision. murder hornets, hurricanes, a continent on fire, whatever the heck was happening in the sahara, tigers and kings and carol-didn’t-do-it, not to mention the most abnormal presidential election in our history as a country. the good news is that all politicians still lie, so at least we can hold on to that.

 

but we've been waiting for so long to return to "normal" that our past normal is basically gone. nobody is going to think about a hug or handshake the same way again. even if everyone were vaccinated tomorrow, this cure the world has been awaiting can't undo what the virus has done. there is no social strata unmarked by covid, not a single hour of media output that doesn't include it, no family or business or organization that hasn't had to adapt.

 

i heard this song (again) this holiday season on one of my christmas music cds in my car. i hit repeat twice because each time the words hit a little deeper. 

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zF952rzG3Yk

  

[on the high probability that the link doesn't work.... go to youtube and listen to "how many kings" by downhere].

seriously- just listen to the words and then actually consider them.

most jews around 3 bc would sniff their noses at our "problems" and rant about theirs. they didn't even get elections! or netflix! or vaccines! or toilet paper! well, actually, they could really empathize with some of us on that. oh- and lying politicians.

they waited.

for centuries.

they waited so long, a lot of them had actually forgotten what it was they were supposed to be waiting for.

they were waiting for a King. a Savior. the Anointed One.

 

and then He came. but it was so out of the blue that absolutely nobody would have known about it for decades without heavenly messengers bursting into the physical realm to scare the pants off some shepherds and declare the news themselves.

a King? just born… now? lying in a what now?!?

yup. a manger. a feed box. probs has cows nudging Him with their big noses. that's the One you've been hearing about for 400 years- ha ha! you thought He'd never come, didn't you? surprise!!

(bunny trail: when did pants become a "thing"?)

 

i don't fully get why non-religious people celebrate christmas at all. there's no conceivable reason that is grounded in anything solid. i also don't get why non-christians celebrate christmas. who cares about a baby born 2000 years ago? the only reason we celebrate is because this baby was special. this baby was a King, a Savior, the Anointed One. completely, utterly unexpected- but still predicted by prophets ages beforehand. tiny, dependent, unspectacular- but still with unimaginable destiny.

this little One would spend the next 33 years or so surprising everyone He came in contact with. there was not a single part of daily life He couldn't affect, not many conversation topics He would avoid, no social circle He wouldn't join if invited.

 

on this side of history, we make light of the christmas story, and think how silly that whole generation was for not recognizing Jesus for who He was. back then? back then, every year was a potential 2020, with droughts, famines, wind storms, poverty, diseases galore and not a single cure for anything, and of course, lying politicians who also murdered people on a fairly regular basis. their newsfeeds weren't any more encouraging than ours.

 

maybe we should do what the shepherds did, and just marvel.

imagine heaven- go ahead.  the lights, the beauty, the brightness, the angels, the joy, the absolute perfection of everything in sight.

now imagine voluntarily walking right back out of the pearly gates and trading that perfection for… 2020, covid and all. yeah… nopety nope nope.

 

that's what Jesus did.

 

the King Who spent eternity in glory left His throne behind, to be confined to a place in time and space, entering a limited dimension- for us.

the Lord Who created galaxies with angels singing in the background, crafted a perfect planet for us humans stepped into His own creation now marred by sin- for us.

the God Who adapts reality with a word let Himself be mocked, scorned, abused, beaten, harassed, tortured, and murdered- for us. He poured out His very lifeblood for the sake of the very same ones who spilled it.

 

no other religion or philosophy even has a category for that kind of event. why?

because it makes zero sense. it's more than a surprise, it's insanity! the extent to which God went, in order to let us back into His holy presence is mind-blowing. every other faith (or non-faith) has a code, a ruler, a list of minimum expectations, that its followers have to know, follow, do, measure up to, in order to enter paradise (or its equivalent).  there are no surprises (at least, not here on earth) because the people know the extent to which they have to go.  

 

our God - the One True God- walked that entire distance for us. His path goes the whole way from heaven straight through to satan's front door. the way to God had been given to the jews so that they could take that message to the world. instead they hoarded it, hid it, forgot it, and finally rejected it. Jesus came to clear the way again. His arrival on the scene sent shock waves through the ancient world. why? because they were thinking the same words of the song, just different.  no real King would step down from a throne for humans. no real Lord would abandon the heavens for us. no "greats" would consider taking a human body.

no real God would pour out His heart to romance a world that is torn all apart.

no real God could do that for…. me… could He?

would a heavenly Father send His Son to this sinful world, knowing that His earthly life would end on a cross, after hours of incredible physical, emotional, and spiritual torture and agony? how could a Deity undo the horrific mess of sin that truly was pandemic- affecting every part of the natural world.

 

this One did.

 

because that's what it took to bridge the infinite gulf between sinners and God. and God was the only One who could go that far.

that's why non-religious people still celebrate christmas on some level. because inside they are asking the same questions as the ancients, not knowing that the answers are all, "yes." we celebrate because we know that "yes"- we know that God has done what no other god could do, that He went farther than a sinful human could go, and that even if everyone else has gotten tired of waiting and hoping, that's okay.  the waiting is over! the Savior is already here!

that's why all christians now are the heralds of truth- we declare that the Messiah ("Anointed One") has come "once to bear the sins of many, and that He will come a second time, not to deal with sin but to save those who are eagerly waiting for Him" (Heb 9:28).

 

so yes, christians are waiting… again…

but this time we wait knowing the end of this story- we don't have to worry about surprises there (but before that, probs a lot of them)! the timing will be a surprise, but not the ultimate outcome. so we wait eagerly this time- expectantly, hopefully, joyfully. whatever plagues and pandemics and politicians happen between now and then, we celebrate with the angels the One we've been waiting for. 

 

merry christmas, everybody :) 

the old, the new, the borrowed and blue

one of the most fascinating things about life is the variety of relationships that spring from it. the idea of belonging originates with God’s relationship to man at creation before growing increasingly complex and beautiful. God institutes the marriage covenant between Adam and Eve who, together with their children, form the first family in Genesis. while the word “family” has persisted in language to refer to a group of people related by marriage and/or genetics, the pages of the Bible actually show a huge broadening of meaning.

 

united by genetics and marriage, Adam and Eve form the first family unit, as they are joined through God’s marriage covenant and then produce offspring. as we all have experienced, family ties are difficult to sever, no matter how far apart its members go. a “family,” with parents and children, are the basic building blocks of every society; weaken one and the other will inevitably start to crumble. even beyond dna, God has infused each family with its own unique relationships, dynamics, experiences. these give a human a sense of history, of belonging- even children brought up in an adoptive home have an innate desire to understand who their birth parents were, where they came from, how they fit into the history of both their families and the world. i think part of that is a God-given sense to find their way back to their very first Father, as He is the One who puts each of us into the earthly families that He does.

 

united by calling, we read of Levites eating celebratory meals together as they perform their duties in the Tabernacle and receive their designated portions- coworkers sharing their lives as they share the tasks - and the food!- God designated for them. a group of guys from all the different branches of a huge extended family tree, working in shifts to keep the Tabernacle in tip-top shape 24/7/365- the one single place around which the entire society literally revolved (no pressure, guys). in the New Testament, Jesus and a bizarre collection of men spend several years together doing everything a “normal” family does (even though at least one of them was married): eating the Passover together (a family/holiday event), walking, sleeping, talking, bickering, learning, growing, working, loving… all as a single, cohesive, group that becomes more close-knit than most any biological family.

 

united by faith, you see God continually inviting non-israelites into their community. several hundred years later, Paul the Apostle explains it clearly and repeatedly as many wild olive branches grafted into one cultivated olive tree. that one olive tree is the Church, and is a family that connects people from every language, nation, and people group. the family that began with a man, a woman, and their kids in Genesis becomes a family that encircles the globe in Revelation and spans every era. the 64 books in between trace the divine expansion of the word “family” and shows God’s plan unfolding to include every ethnicity. this Church family is way more incredible than we generally acknowledge, but we feel the ache inside when we go very long at all without coming together- like what we have all been feeling this year being separated from friends and family for Easter, and summer vacations, and Thanksgiving (and probs Christmas, too, now…). that's you missing your family!!

 

united by purpose, Paul the Apostle writes of his fatherly affection for Timothy who faithfully continues in their evangelistic mission. Timothy was raised in the faith by his grandmother, and we know nothing of his own parents. wherever they were, Paul takes him under his wing and basically adopts him as they travel and preach. having completed his training, Timothy is set as pastor of one of the churches he helped plant with Paul, and he is then commissioned to not "only" preach, but also to be an example of the same kind of adoptive church leader that his congregants can then model themselves after. every Christian is a member of the worldwide Church family, but within that body of believers, there are relationships that form that are so close, so foundational and formational, that this usage of "adoption" and "family" is the only language that is really appropriate, genetics be darned. i don't have much doubt at all that if Paul was anywhere near his young charge for Thanksgiving, they would be sitting side by side at Timothy's grandmother's house (because really? who else can make mashed potatoes and casseroles like a grandmother?).

 

 

To my OLD family:

 

thank you.

a friend asked me once what my favorite thing about my church was, and my immediate response was, “my old people!” my Church family is a blessing i would be lost without, and you as my “old people” represent the Church boldly. i cannot thank you all enough for the encouragement, support, prayers, wisdom and Jesus-love each of you has heaped upon me. i know it’s not politically correct to say “old,” but i have enjoyed having this church’s older generation to learn from as much as i have learning with the younger generation in the cubbies class. “gray hair is a crown of blessing,” and man, you make those crowns look good!!

you've helped me move, you've hosted me in your homes, you've done my yard work. you have fed me, you have visited me when sick, sent birthday cards, kept me sane during a hard year of studying. you reached out to me as a Union student, asking me to stay in Jackson starting sophomore year. you have openly shared your joys and griefs, your gains and losses, your struggles and victories, and how your enduring faith has brought you through it all. a few of you have even done me the honor of being my patients in the hospital ;)

you ran to the altar with open arms (and tissues and coffee) when i joined the church by baptism, you have supported me on mission trips without restraint, and you are generally a fabulous group of people that i wouldn’t trade for anything. 

 

 

To my NEW family:

eye wuvz yoo. my newest biological family- my “niephews,” you are the best things about family gatherings. i love snuggle parties on the couch, reading the same 5 books a hundred times, and seeing your artistically genius abstract crayon drawings on my fridge. i wish you could all stay small forever, but i also look forward to seeing who you grow up to be. 

to the newest family member by marriage… you already know i love you, or i wouldn’t be marrying you today. i have no idea what plan God has for our family, but there’s no one else i’d rather be with to find out.

to the soon-to-be newest family member by marriage… i’ll never think anyone is good enough for my sister, but i guess you’re pretty close. i promise to forgive you at some point for taking her all the freaking way to arizona. welcome to the clan!!

 

To my BORROWED family:

i guess this all goes to show you never know what you’ll find in a garbage dump.

what started as a “simple” mission trip turned into the beginning of a new phase of growth in my life and proof of God’s providential care, supplying for my needs at a crucial time before those needs even arose.

thank you for being a place to go when i needed safe haven, and a constant source of support and laughter. the blinged-out blanket forts, butter bread and extremely random youtube videos are just bonuses for the real treasure of having an “extra” family to be a part of. when i needed a “home” closer than 800 miles, you provided one. when i needed to know why my car was making those weird sounds, you were there. when i just needed time to mend, you opened your emotional first aid kit and got to work. when i didn’t know what i needed, you helped me get back on track. when life knocked me down, you hauled me to my feet. you made the concept of adoption a natural part of your lifestyle and i am the better for it.

 

To my BLUE family:

very few people know what we do, and even fewer people know how and why we do it. spending hours on our feet to take care of sick people large and small (and smaller) doesn’t spell “fun” for most anyone. we have accepted our unique role in society, and that we can be an odd crew- especially those of us on the night shift! i would contend that we are odd also in the way that we are such a “family”- we celebrate birthdays, weddings, births. we gather together for holidays (because we have to, but still) and weekends, and support each other through thick and thin. wedding showers, baby showers, retirement parties, holiday feasts, birthday potluck dinners, kids’ school fundraisers- all these things are like separate strings that form an uneven web where our individual lives and families intersect. not only celebrations, but we have also shared tears of loss and frustration and hurt at times- a biblical kind of love that forges relationships deeper than the word "coworker" conveys. i’m rather proud of my small collection of “work moms” who make sure to check up on me when i travel more than 0.25 miles from my house, and friends who are an endless source of knowledge and fun, as well as being able to serve our little, bitty patients alongside you. it’s an honor. i love you all!

 

 

the sad sage

i had the great privilege the other day to join my fiancé in an atypical conversation with a deist who i'm willing to bet has a very high IQ. before the server had even brought the bread and salad i was roped into the discussion the guys had going before we met up: the origin and potential end of the universe. umm, yeah. by the arrival of the steaks, we could add quarks, black holes, spirits, the apocalypse, the purpose of man, the exclusivity of Christianity vs hinduism, the crusades, scientific theory, the similarities and differences between the major world religions, and the weird tesseract-like layer of pure energy enveloping the sun that supposedly could power the world for like, a billion-jillion years. [and also whether or not nik copied my order because he realized my choice of steak was superior, or if he really had independently decided on the exact same meal. i hold the former, he the latter.]  because we weren't done with the discussion, we split a massively unhealthy dessert so we could finish talking…exactly where we began, but so full of food that i couldn't slouch and breathe at the same time.

 

and while it was a true privilege, i walked (or rather, waddled) out of the restaurant fighting off waves of frustration- and wonder, oddly enough. it's been a hot minute since i've met a person who not only believes in nothing that can't be explained a mathematical formula, but who also doesn't care at all. he gets the physical world. he thinks he has a grasp on the world religions. computer code? nailed it. steve jobs? stephen hawking? loves 'em. but for himself, life is a giant shrug. does he have purpose? eh, probs. *shrug*. is there something not strictly physical about a person? dunno. *shrug*.  what does he think about the possibility of eternity, and what that could mean for him? huh. guess i'll find out when i get there. *shrug*. he's content to focus on his career right now and worry about the afterlife later. he's got places to go and good things to do now.

 

a rising number of individuals from this generation have embraced this sort of thinking, though. take this friend's thought process, add some eastern-style clothing and a yoga mat, and you've got just enough religion to make these busy people feel safe without inconveniencing them with concepts like absolute Truth. i mean, if all these super-spiritual ideas come from old, dead, bald guys with single names- like, "confusious" and "ghandi" and "buddha," it must be wise enough to live by, right?  it all sounds 100% legit… until you process what you're being told.  

 

i've got a scratch-off poster of 100 really cool books to read ("cool" here applicable only for major nerds).  it includes everything from harry potter to the time machine to the origin of the species to the fireman to watership down. 

 

***bunny trail: harry potter- loved the series of wholesome, family-oriented characters with a wonderful moral compass, leaders worth following, and followers who know the value of friendship, loyalty, honesty and respect. time machine- amusing and fun. the origin of the species- darwin seems to think if he uses enough science words then most everyone would rather accept the theory than be bothered to suffer through more than a chapter or two. he's not wrong. the fireman- the absolute worst book to read during a global pandemic that kills people almost at random, causing most of society to shut down, about a global pandemic that kills people almost at random, causing most of society to shut down (the cool part being that instead of coughing, the victims of this pandemic spontaneously combust). watership down- bunnies galore. it's like a hug for the soul. read this one.***

 

with my library book app charged up, i began one that sounded fascinating- mahatma ghandi's "my experiments with truth"- his autobiography. i love hearing from leaders of other cultures and countries, especially ones who project wisdom, justice and some level of spirituality.

i was too far in to quit (and determined to complete the scratch off poster), but i wish i could have. it's depressing. for all his wisdom, justice and spirituality, after 300+ pages there is only one "truth" that ghandi was hardcore, dead-set, steadfastly sure of in this life. wanna know what it is? vegetarianism. i wish so bad i were lying.

 

is there a God? well, there's some kind of god/life force in all of us; this force has no name or specific characteristics, but it definitely/probably hears prayers and keeps me from temptation to eat meat or even drink milk.

which exclusive religion is true? eh, they're all true; i shall teach all my friends' kids to follow whatever god/life force they want, to be hard-working, and to not eat meat or even drink milk.

what "is" good or bad, or right or wrong? being mean to any living thing is bad and wrong; therefore i shall be good and right by never eating meat or milk. and also most grains. and spices. and eggs.  i shall eat bananas and walnuts all my days.

is there an afterlife? i sure hope so. even more days to eat bananas and walnuts.

 

this man who was so kind and respectful and honest to a fault never finds the truth he's looking for. he spouted words, phrases, ideas from the Bible and hindu teachings… but seemed to contradict both faiths; he wouldn't go for hinduism because he frankly didn't know anything about it, and he shied away from Christianity because it was boring. really. that was his reason. but since he was kind and respectful and honest and vegetarian, he has earned his place as a role model, leader, sage.

i feel it is worth actually saying that in many ways, he was indeed a role model, leader and sage. he gave his life to improving race relations, easing the suffering of the mistreated lower classes, feeding the hungry, educating the poor, giving them a voice in their country's government, practicing self-control in all things, and holding himself to very high moral standards. he was probably the first, and also last, truly honest lawyer who actually didn't lie to, for, or about any judge, witness or other lawyer. he promoted freedom of religion, openly (yet respectfully) spoke out against horribly unjust government practices, and led by example in all things.

 

but he never found truth.

he never reached the point of "satyagraha" (reliance on/pursuit of truth) where he felt he was pure enough. he prayed to "God," but was fully convinced that "there is no God but Truth." and he was still searching for it. his fasting hadn't helped. his impressive legal practices hadn't helped. his long list of excellent, kind, noble, peaceful, (vegetarian), generous, wise deeds… hadn't helped. 

 

what kills me, and what made me want to stop reading was when i saw just how close he was to the true Truth.  about 2/3 through his book, i read this:

 

"i hold today the opinion as i held then. to my mind the life of a lamb is no less precious than that of a human being. i should be unwilling to take the life of a lamb for the sake of the human body. i hold that, the more helpless a creature, the more entitled it is to protection by man from the cruelty of man. but he who has not qualified himself for such service is unable to afford to it any protection. i must go through more self-purification and sacrifice before i can hope to save these lambs from this unholy sacrifice. today i think i must die pining for this self-purification and sacrifice. it is my constant prayer that there may be born on earth some great spirit, man or woman, fired with divine pity, who will deliver us from this heinous sin, save the lives of the innocent creatures, and purify the temple."

 

and he did. ghandi died still pining for the Lamb who gave His life freely- it wasn’t taken- in order to not just purify the Temple, but to purify us and make US the new Temple. we have been delivered from every heinous sin, because God in His unfathomable, divine, "reckless" love caused to be born on earth that Holy Deliverer Jesus Christ. He didn't save innocent creatures, because innocent creatures have no need of saving. "Jesus Christ came into the world to save sinners, of whom i am the foremost" (1 Timothy 1:15). we are sinners, whose even "tiniest" of sins is an affront to God's holiness and incompatible with His character. perfection simply cannot be with even a slight imperfection without becoming itself imperfect. no matter how much ghandi (or you, or i) fasts or how little he lies, or how much he donates to the poor, he will never be perfect and thus literally cannot be in the presence of a perfect God. only a perfect sacrifice can make that possible. and that sacrifice is Jesus.

 

ghandi's prayer had already been answered, and ghandi refused to believe it.

the absolute worst part is that ghandi has now spent 72 years of atoning for his lack of perfection- and he still has an eternity. he will never be perfect enough to save even a little lamb, much less himself or another human.

in the world's opinion, if there is a heaven, then ghandi is definitely there and probably has one of the biggest mansions of all.

however, one thing ghandi got (mostly) right was that God is Truth. and the truth is that those who are not delivered from their heinous sins by the Lamb must themselves pay the penalty, which is eternal separation from God.

that's where ghandi is right now- he's in hell. that's where all the self-sufficient "nice people" who did "good" things are- they are in hell.

that's where my newest acquaintance will go if he chooses to continue his current plan of walking into eternity with zero concern. he will go to hell.

 

i made it to the end of the book, at last.

and if you are reading this, you made it to the end of this post.

i learned quite a bit from ghandi, but i hope somehow i'm not the only one.  my prayer is that his life and message might compel someone to find what the sad sage never did. if it's my new friend, or you, or your friend- whoever it is who finds the Truth will be blessed indeed.

#whatmatters

i love watching ECGs on the monitors. except when it gets funky and i see those irregularities that indicate the need for nursing intervention. those are fascinating, but also scary in the moment. more often than not, however, the only intervention needed is to replace one of the stickers. (to my nice adult patients, i told them which one to pull if i wasn't able to answer their call light in time, so someone else would go in to help them.) on the adults, there were five- green, white, brown, black and red. the easiest way i was told to remember it was "clouds over grass" (white and green on the right) and "smoke over fire" (black and red on the left). the brown was just for mud, i guess, and it went right in the middle of the chest.

it's easy. it's practical. it's rational. just the way i like it.

the rest of the universe appears to be the exact opposite, except in one way: we humans have, in one way or another, reduced everything to some sort of binary division, a one-or-the-other, also often represented by colors. there are red states and blue states. there are orange teams and blue teams. there are black and white people. there always only two options- right or wrong, my choice or your choice. you either agree with me, or else you are wrong. there is no middle ground, it seems. brown is not an option, and thus society forces individuals to choose ALL of one or else ALL of the other. as regards the rampant societal upheaval flowing from a petri dish of forces and circumstances, my hands are tied. at least on the surface, i agree firmly with the sentiments expressed by the #blacklivesmatter sign-bearers. black lives do matter, very much so. i count myself blessed to have friends of a number of nationalities and backgrounds, and am engaged to a non-white person. my friends of color make my life so much better i can't imagine how dull it would have been without them. people of color have been burdened by others' discrimination for generations, and it kills me to see any of them mistreated, and even killed, in circumstances where a white person would most likely not be. a lot of people would stop reading this after i say that i am also blessed to know personally relatives of law enforcement officers and acknowledge that their lives matter as well. but society is telling me i can only believe one or the other. i either support looting, arson, anarchy and rioting, or i support racist officers… i can't win.

but there's another binary decision each person has to make for him/her self. in our neonatal ICU, we only use three leads- black, white and red (a lot of them are green, but we use them in the place of the red, underneath the black, on the left side of the chest). probably because we have a whole lot less space to work with. the monitor cord has three little holes: the red in the middle hole and black and white on either side. i remember it a little different way. i use the "wordless book" colors. because no matter what you look like on the outside, on the proverbial inside each person is either "black" or "white." the wordless book progresses as such: black, red, white, blue, green and then finally yellow. there are a few minor variations, but they make no sense to me, sooooo……..

those colors are descriptive of a christian's life. a non-christian's life would look like this: black.

the super-quick no-detail explanation is this: black represents sin, red = Jesus's atoning death, white = salvation and redemption, blue = baptism, green = growing relationship with God, and yellow = the guarantee of heaven.

 

the only way to get from black to white is through the red. whether or not you have accepted Jesus's sacrifice on your behalf is what determines your ultimate end. those who let Jesus carry their sin and its result are counted as pure as Him, and are promised eternity in heaven. those who choose to carry their own sin will spend eternity paying for it.

 

this is even more important than what the media and governments and politicians are raging about now. this is another division between one person and another. but this is one that is not easy or simple or rational. i simply can't be objective about it. to be purely objective would mean i remain robotic and emotionally detached, and that right now is utterly impossible for me to do. i know and love too many people who have not crossed over that red wire yet. and just like so many people have shouted #saymyname, i see and say and think these names. they have lives and jobs and families and … these are not just names. these are people, made in the image of the Creator God Almighty. these lives matter to Him a billion times more than even me. and yet these lives are being cut short, whether by carelessness, racism, anger, or a selfish craving for inflicting one's own idea of "justice" on another. or a straight-up pathological disregard for human life.

 

God absolutely cares about what is happening in this country (and the world). His heart breaks at injustice inflicted on others, when livelihoods are destroyed and actual lives are lost. when hypocrites see His image in themselves, but not in someone else of a different skin tone, His anger rises. when human life is treated as worthless, people thoughtlessly thrown into slavery or gulags or cattle cars, denied *equal* housing or education or medical care, or under a knee on a sidewalk- for no other reason than appearances- He promises vengeance. if there is any doubt that black lives matter to God, know that every sin unatoned for will be repaid in full.  be assured that His justice far exceeds any human court of law; it is perfect, holy, and quite frankly, terrifyingly so. the next life is utterly beyond our brains' comprehension level; the peace we long for is coming. the justice we lack will be delivered. the righteousness we continually search in vain for will shine like the sun. so while we strive for positive change in our nation now, we also need to make sure we keep our sights set on the kingdom to come.

 

i am still torn up over how groups of so many varieties are pulling this country apart and i pray for peace, justice, righteousness. i pray for authorities to have wisdom and humility, to recognize widespread, systemic wrongs and do everything in their power to make it right. i pray for an end to racism. i pray for an end to senseless murder. but even more, i pray for the souls of so, so many millions, especially those within my circles of influence. before you lose your mind in the deluge of chaos, make sure you haven't lost your soul. eternity is a whole lot longer than your life here on earth.  

two sidebars of some importance:

[sidebar 1: after seeing it explained a few different ways, i can readily see how using #alllivesmatter is extremely unhelpful to the dialogue on race, because while i do think life is precious from the first moment to the last breath, it is the people of color who have spent the majority of this nation's lifetime being treated cruelly, horribly, evilly. no other race has the history of experiencing the abuse of slavery on a nationally systemic level as the black race. all lives matter, but the black lives are the ones more at risk of injustice.]

[sidebar 2: of the few distinct sources i have heard input from, it seems they each affirm that the official Black Lives Matter movement was formed on marxist ideologies, and is now openly attempting to dismantle the idea of the family, and to "sneak in" the entire LGBTQ+ agenda underneath the cloak of BLM. to this i say- their lives matter, oh, so much. and if you do not have at least one LGBTQ+ friend in your life, you should fix that. however,i do not agree with marxism on any level, nor the idea that society functions well without family units, and all kinds of research shows that kids do better psychologically, physically, and emotionally when they have both a father and mother who are married to each other. therefore, i would fight to the death for the concept of black lives or LGBTQ+ lives mattering… but basically everything else about the BLM movement i disagree with.]

phylactovirus 11:18

i love learning. i think the best part of graduating from Union's MCS program is that i no longer have to write papers, but the worst part is that now i have to create the opportunities to learn on my own, rather than having someone smarter and wiser say, "hey- this textbook/article/essay/sermon/TEDTalk is awesome and you will be a better person for having experienced it."

i went to a music recital at Union tonight with another church member, who introduced me to everyone around as "a Union grad, times 2!" and so i got to experience yet again the facial expressions when each person found out my master's degree has absolutely nothing to do with my bachelor's.

it means i'm a giant nerd. i love big books. i love reading assignments. i love discussion groups and questions and interactions, just like i love patient care and needles and vital signs and IVs.  i have accepted my role, the same way i accepted both degrees- with a flippin' giant smile.

of course, the absolutely best thing about my favorite ginormous book…

[rabbit trail conversation starter: since when is "ginormous" a legit word? whose job is it to update microsoft's autocorrect to recognize it as correctly spelled, and not put the little squiggly red line under it?]

anyway…. the absolutely best thing about my favorite ginormous book is that no matter how many times you read it, there is always more to learn. (either that, or i'm an idiot who forgets the same things each time, and realizes them again upon re-reading it).  i'm sure personal context is a factor as well. the bigger factor is that this book's words are living and active.  they are not dusty and mildewed like ancient archives in a medieval castle. they are not stale like those maple-flavored cheerios i don't like and that have since turned to styrofoam. they are alive. they have relevance to people today, just as they did thousands of years ago. 

another "of course," you can't possibly look at a screen for more than 7.2 seconds without hearing about covid-19. as if it were the only thing of relevance to humankind, this strain of respiratory disease has captured the attention of the globe, causing normally (supposedly) rational people to lose their minds and buy every last roll of toilet paper in their ZIP code.

[rabbit trail conversation starter: what. the. heck. it's a respiratory disease.]

because for some reason it wasn't happening before, suddenly people are washing their hands, covering their coughs and staying home when they are sick. (this is where the entire medical community simultaneously retches and rolls its collective eyes). somehow, what decades of flu seasons haven't done, coronovirus-19 has accomplished. people are paying attention to their hands, their heads, what they do, where they go, who they listen to.

i'm nearing the end of 2 kings in my self-study, and am right about 3 kings after 10-ish tribes get demolished and chained and hauled off to Assyria because of a mile-long list of abominations and evils. i'm also about 3 kings before the same fate comes to the remaining 2-ish tribes. right in the middle there is king josiah.  great-grandson of hezekiah (one of my favorite kings), he starts off strong and finishes well. but most of that, i'm fairly positive, is because something even more astonishing than a virus popped up out of nowhere and brought a royal young leader to his knees.

his priests were doing their spring cleaning, which hadn't been done (properly, anyway) for a number of years, because josiah's dad and grandad were… well, they bring to mind phrases like, "evil beyond compare." they were colossal failures, and took delight in murder, intrigue, child sacrifice, the occult, demon/idol/spirit worship, and more. so it's fair to say that the Temple had been somewhat neglected for about 75 years (massaseh reigned 55 years, amon reigned 2, and then josiah reigned 18 before this point).

but during the cleaning and repairing of the Temple, hilkiah the priest comes across a Book. he is so excited he rushes to find shaphan the king's secretary and tell him, "dude, i found a Book." (2 kings 22:8, my words). these priests, who serve the Living God, and not the pagan idols, immediately recognize the treasure they are holding in their hands. they throw down their dusters, lysol and brooms and make the discovery known to the king, and the entire Book is read to him. and for the first time, the nation of judah is paying attention to their hands, their heads, what they do, where they go, who they listen to…

…because some of the words that made josiah's blood drain from his face were these: "you shall therefore lay up these words of Mine in your heart and in your soul, and you shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes… see, I am setting before you today a blessing and a curse: the blessing, if you obey the commandments of the LORD your God, which I command you today, and the curse, if you do not obey the commandments of the LORD you God, but turn aside from the way that I am commanding you today, to go after other gods that you have not known" (Deuteronomy 11:18, 26-28). 

by the time of Jesus, the jewish religious elite had taken these words so seriously that many of them literally tied little boxes- phylacteries- containing Bible verses to their hands and foreheads. even though it turned into a source of snobbish pride and comparison for many (the equivalent to comparing cars and houses was comparing numbers and sizes of their forehead boxes), it was a tangible reminder of those commands that God's people were to follow. what commands? the command to serve only the One True God, to love Him with everything they have, say, do; the commands to treat others with love and justice and mercy; the commands the Living Word to their children; the commands for how to have holy, righteous, glorious relationships and jobs and families and societies; the commands to saturate their lives with those living words- basically, the commands to do the exact opposite of what the past 3 or 4 generations of hebrews had done.

and how do you keep those commands? it's not by guessing. it's not by having "a sincere heart." it's not by meditating on positive thoughts, or even listening to those happy prosperity gospel preachers on tv. it's definitely not by shoving your Bible on a shelf for 75 years.

no, i am not recommending that you replace your soap with a box of Bible verses.

for the love of all that is righteous, wash your filthy hands and leave some toilet paper and sanitizer for other people, too. (you do realize that to not get sick, you need other people to also not be nasty and to wash their hands as well, right?) don't be ridiculous.

but i am saying that as long as society is all but shutting down for a while for a virus that can harm your physical body, you take the extra free time to pay attention to this other issue that can definitely damage your immortal soul.

there is absolutely no way to follow God, keep His commands, worship Him as He should be, or to raise a family well, or to serve God at your job or hobbies, if you ignore His Word. there just isn't. God, in His infinite wisdom and grace, chose to reveal Himself to us in these written Words, and promised Life everlasting to the ones who paid attention to them. if you hate reading, there a zillion apps that will read it to you for free. if you genuinely care about your soul, you will find the time, the motivation, the willpower, to do it. no, your salvation is not earned in any way by physically reading the Bible. but salvation is found there- in Jesus the Living Word, and in Him alone.

it's not all roses and sunshine. josiah was immediately convicted when he realized his own sin, and that of the people he was leading. he tore his robes and lamented. david was convicted like few we read about- and yet the Living Word kept drawing him back. the psalms he wrote tell just how much he relied on the Living Word that he met in the Bible, because even though he was reminded often of his sin, he was reminded also of the God who forgives even sinners like himself who turn to Him in true repentance, the God who breathes Life into dead bodies, makes bread for thousands fall from heaven every day for decades, and sent His own Son to bear the curse that was meant for us.

i'm telling you, even though conviction sucks like a vacuum, this Living Word will breathe into a life such vitality that one wonders if they were truly living before encountering Him.  Jesus Himself is the Living Word, the "Word made flesh," and the life He gives is one that no virus can affect in the least.

waiting, waiting, waiting... ad infinitum

if you're younger than about 8 years old, you may not even remember much before this most recent christmas. as soon as the calendar page flips, it is no longer "after christmas," but "before christmas" once again. there is no looking back; it's all looking forward again.they can't wait to gaze at their pile of presents while the parents holler at them to get away from the tree, "why do you look?!? why do you always have to look?!?"  "i don't know- i can't help it, alright? i'm sorry!"

most adults remember. "i was there..." they say.. they remember the travel, the long lines in stores, parking lots, highways, airports, bathrooms and restaurants. they remember the sore backs, sore memories, sore arguments, strained relationships, strained budgets, strained voices. everything stretched too thin, like butter over too much bread. the vows to skip the next family reunion. the latest drama. the black sheep who did skip and is noticeably absent. but yes, also (hopefully) some good food, and just enough joy at catching up with awkward relatives that (hopefully) makes it worthwhile.

not sure why, but the second big people flip their calendar pages, we change, too. no more christmas spirit!  no more patience! no more big tips for the server! no more smiling away exasperation at the 9th spilled cup of juicy juice! no more using blinkers when changing lanes, and heaven help whoever makes me miss that left turn light! we go right back to the sort of person we were before we took our last dose of christmas spirit.

during the majority of the advent season, my devotional time revolved around what i had been studying for classes and a couple new testament books i've been working on memorizing the past year or two. once i graduated and christmas left and my calendar page flipped, i went back to where i had been slowly plodding through a year before- jeremiah.  (the prophet, not the bullfrog.)

it struck me that just as people around the world pushed "reset" and began another year of waiting for that brief christmas/advent season, the israelites i was reading about were about to enter their own advent season. during jeremiah's prophetic career, israel has already been conquered by the assyrians, and judah's grace period was coming to a cataclysmic finale.  jeremiah himself winds up captive to those who refuse to believe truth, and he witnesses his own prophecies coming to pass.  jerusalem is sacked, the walls utterly destroyed, the people starved to the point of literal cannibalism. the Temple- the House of Yahweh Himself- is bowled over like a preschooler's block tower and the gems and precious metals picked out, melted down, and carted off to Babylon. trailing behind judah's treasures are chain-linked prisoners- any judean who showed any potential, leaving behind the old, the sick, and the despicably poor and outcasts.

about 70 years later, after the persians defeat the babylonians, king cyrus is led to allow the captives to return. they rebuild jerusalem's wall and a new Temple.

and then they wait.

they read the Law, Prophets and Writings, and wait.

they die, and their children read the Law, Prophets and Writings… and wait.

for 400 years.

you think making your kids wait 1 year for christmas is bad? try telling them there's no christmas until their great-great-great-great-great grandkids come along!

our advent season is the time we remember the waiting of our faith's ancestors. for centuries, they held on to the hope that grew ever dimmer. "history became legend; legend became myth…" who believes a promise that is still unfulfilled after 397 years? that's right: no one. we know the christmas story too well if we condemn the ancient Jews for doubting the rumor of a kid sleeping in a manger becoming their long-awaited Messiah. they'd been hearing boys cry "wolf!" for centuries; only a complete fool would believe this one.

the amazing, blessed, and exhilarating fact is that what the smelly shepherds said was indeed true. that kid sleeping in a manger became their long-awaited Messiah. most of the jews missed it, even to this day. a tiny segment of that once-respected population is still waiting for a Messiah spoken of by jeremiah, isaiah and others 2500 years ago.

our advent season has a two-fold purpose, however. not only do we remember the waiting israel endured for its Anointed One, but we also acknowledge the prophecies that even now in this new decade 2020 are yet to come to pass. Jesus came, yes, just as the prophets foretold. but Jesus will come again, just as He Himself foretold.

the Savior came once to take away the guilt of sin and to inaugurate His Kingdom.

the return of the King will establish that Kingdom that will never end, and welcome in all who have yielded to His sovereignty.

a key difference between the first arrival and the second is that no human being will "miss" His return. not even the dead ones. 

another key difference is that while this second advent season persists, the hopeful followers do not just wait. yes, we read the Law, Prophets, Writings and the New Testament, but we also have a task to do. because when the waiting stops, so does everything else. no more chances for those who don't know that the time of salvation is here and now, not there and tomorrow or next year. for centuries, israel had failed to be the light to the nations it was supposed to be. now it is our job to be that light, from now until the last christmas lightbulb burns out. 

before your calendar flips one more page, why don't you go ahead and write your goals for this waiting period- on every page? don't forget once february comes. that person you were going to invite to a Bible study or coffee date or movie? make a date- write it on the calendar. that memory passage you were going to memorize? make a deadline- a verse a week. get a friend involved to keep you accountable.  make each of those calendar pages count for something eternal. what will King Jesus find you doing when He suddenly returns? wasting time gazing at a dying christmas tree, or waiting expectantly and working enthusiastically for Him?