...no good title for this one :)

after 11 years of always being busy at work or school, the past 6 or 7 weeks have been a blessed relief. 

today ended all that.

not saying it was bad- it really wasn't.  it was a TON of information, though.  it brought back a couple of my most *cherished* moments of the beginning of nursing school.  i was stressed almost to the point of tears after that very first day.   surrounded by 62 other junior nursing majors, all of us with wide eyes and huge dreams, our professors stood up one by one and explained to us every last toil and hardship that we would encounter during the remainder of our time at Union.  and how much each one cost. 

at least this time around we are paid, instead of paying, for the experience. 

i've already said before that i am most decidedly NOT a morning person, unless there is a very good reason for me to be conscious.  i was struggling today, friends.  struggling.  but inbetween stifling yawns (i still am, actually) there were brief bursts of excitement.  few people know how long i've been planning and wishing on this whole nursing career- currently, about 18 years.  seeing it become a reality is a slightly big deal for me.  even though i've basically set myself up for all kinds of trouble with insurance, government, relatives and goodness knows what else, the opportunity to make a difference in someone's life is what gives me the thrill.  we heard about all kinds of rules we could break, accidents we could cause, and things that could go wrong.  for most of those, we would carry the blame from huge capital-lettered entities, some of which spelled other words and charged us very very large numbers.  it was an exciting day.  but i enjoyed it nonetheless.

i made it through nursing school because i have no real doubts that this RN degree is following God's plan for my life.  He's the reason i made it through.  which means that if i keep my eyes on Him, he will also pull me through each and every shift.  i am not, and never will be, perfect.  i'm going to make mistakes, need help, get frustrated and tired and busy and confused.  but most of my handful of followers are far enough away that you'll never be my patients.  so you're all safe :)