#whatmatters

i love watching ECGs on the monitors. except when it gets funky and i see those irregularities that indicate the need for nursing intervention. those are fascinating, but also scary in the moment. more often than not, however, the only intervention needed is to replace one of the stickers. (to my nice adult patients, i told them which one to pull if i wasn't able to answer their call light in time, so someone else would go in to help them.) on the adults, there were five- green, white, brown, black and red. the easiest way i was told to remember it was "clouds over grass" (white and green on the right) and "smoke over fire" (black and red on the left). the brown was just for mud, i guess, and it went right in the middle of the chest.

it's easy. it's practical. it's rational. just the way i like it.

the rest of the universe appears to be the exact opposite, except in one way: we humans have, in one way or another, reduced everything to some sort of binary division, a one-or-the-other, also often represented by colors. there are red states and blue states. there are orange teams and blue teams. there are black and white people. there always only two options- right or wrong, my choice or your choice. you either agree with me, or else you are wrong. there is no middle ground, it seems. brown is not an option, and thus society forces individuals to choose ALL of one or else ALL of the other. as regards the rampant societal upheaval flowing from a petri dish of forces and circumstances, my hands are tied. at least on the surface, i agree firmly with the sentiments expressed by the #blacklivesmatter sign-bearers. black lives do matter, very much so. i count myself blessed to have friends of a number of nationalities and backgrounds, and am engaged to a non-white person. my friends of color make my life so much better i can't imagine how dull it would have been without them. people of color have been burdened by others' discrimination for generations, and it kills me to see any of them mistreated, and even killed, in circumstances where a white person would most likely not be. a lot of people would stop reading this after i say that i am also blessed to know personally relatives of law enforcement officers and acknowledge that their lives matter as well. but society is telling me i can only believe one or the other. i either support looting, arson, anarchy and rioting, or i support racist officers… i can't win.

but there's another binary decision each person has to make for him/her self. in our neonatal ICU, we only use three leads- black, white and red (a lot of them are green, but we use them in the place of the red, underneath the black, on the left side of the chest). probably because we have a whole lot less space to work with. the monitor cord has three little holes: the red in the middle hole and black and white on either side. i remember it a little different way. i use the "wordless book" colors. because no matter what you look like on the outside, on the proverbial inside each person is either "black" or "white." the wordless book progresses as such: black, red, white, blue, green and then finally yellow. there are a few minor variations, but they make no sense to me, sooooo……..

those colors are descriptive of a christian's life. a non-christian's life would look like this: black.

the super-quick no-detail explanation is this: black represents sin, red = Jesus's atoning death, white = salvation and redemption, blue = baptism, green = growing relationship with God, and yellow = the guarantee of heaven.

 

the only way to get from black to white is through the red. whether or not you have accepted Jesus's sacrifice on your behalf is what determines your ultimate end. those who let Jesus carry their sin and its result are counted as pure as Him, and are promised eternity in heaven. those who choose to carry their own sin will spend eternity paying for it.

 

this is even more important than what the media and governments and politicians are raging about now. this is another division between one person and another. but this is one that is not easy or simple or rational. i simply can't be objective about it. to be purely objective would mean i remain robotic and emotionally detached, and that right now is utterly impossible for me to do. i know and love too many people who have not crossed over that red wire yet. and just like so many people have shouted #saymyname, i see and say and think these names. they have lives and jobs and families and … these are not just names. these are people, made in the image of the Creator God Almighty. these lives matter to Him a billion times more than even me. and yet these lives are being cut short, whether by carelessness, racism, anger, or a selfish craving for inflicting one's own idea of "justice" on another. or a straight-up pathological disregard for human life.

 

God absolutely cares about what is happening in this country (and the world). His heart breaks at injustice inflicted on others, when livelihoods are destroyed and actual lives are lost. when hypocrites see His image in themselves, but not in someone else of a different skin tone, His anger rises. when human life is treated as worthless, people thoughtlessly thrown into slavery or gulags or cattle cars, denied *equal* housing or education or medical care, or under a knee on a sidewalk- for no other reason than appearances- He promises vengeance. if there is any doubt that black lives matter to God, know that every sin unatoned for will be repaid in full.  be assured that His justice far exceeds any human court of law; it is perfect, holy, and quite frankly, terrifyingly so. the next life is utterly beyond our brains' comprehension level; the peace we long for is coming. the justice we lack will be delivered. the righteousness we continually search in vain for will shine like the sun. so while we strive for positive change in our nation now, we also need to make sure we keep our sights set on the kingdom to come.

 

i am still torn up over how groups of so many varieties are pulling this country apart and i pray for peace, justice, righteousness. i pray for authorities to have wisdom and humility, to recognize widespread, systemic wrongs and do everything in their power to make it right. i pray for an end to racism. i pray for an end to senseless murder. but even more, i pray for the souls of so, so many millions, especially those within my circles of influence. before you lose your mind in the deluge of chaos, make sure you haven't lost your soul. eternity is a whole lot longer than your life here on earth.  

two sidebars of some importance:

[sidebar 1: after seeing it explained a few different ways, i can readily see how using #alllivesmatter is extremely unhelpful to the dialogue on race, because while i do think life is precious from the first moment to the last breath, it is the people of color who have spent the majority of this nation's lifetime being treated cruelly, horribly, evilly. no other race has the history of experiencing the abuse of slavery on a nationally systemic level as the black race. all lives matter, but the black lives are the ones more at risk of injustice.]

[sidebar 2: of the few distinct sources i have heard input from, it seems they each affirm that the official Black Lives Matter movement was formed on marxist ideologies, and is now openly attempting to dismantle the idea of the family, and to "sneak in" the entire LGBTQ+ agenda underneath the cloak of BLM. to this i say- their lives matter, oh, so much. and if you do not have at least one LGBTQ+ friend in your life, you should fix that. however,i do not agree with marxism on any level, nor the idea that society functions well without family units, and all kinds of research shows that kids do better psychologically, physically, and emotionally when they have both a father and mother who are married to each other. therefore, i would fight to the death for the concept of black lives or LGBTQ+ lives mattering… but basically everything else about the BLM movement i disagree with.]