no, i haven't died-
all 7 of you who read this can rest assured :P
it's just been one
of those… summers… where everyone else has all this free time and can't wait
until they can send their kids back to school and the heat backs off and they
are spending their time gardening and
cooking and vacations and tanning by the pool.
and then there's me, thinking "if only i could get people to
coordinate their heart attacks." because then i'd get a summer break, too. but i can't and so i don't. i've been working one or two nights, with one
or two nights in between, for a good number of weeks and it leaves little time
for things like blogs. or anything else.
but i have had just
enough time recently (like, the past week or two) to do some thinking.
(yeah...haven't had much time for that either until now). and because i'm probably going to have to
wait a bit before i do much of it again, my brain went from "oh-look! silence! let's think about something happy,
like flowers" to "let's re-evaluate everything in your whole
life. right now."
yup.
the problem: it's a
pretty short list right now. basically,
i have a handful of values and beliefs that just aren't going anywhere. but then there's me, and i don't seem to be going
anywhere, either. which just feels
weird.
we're chugging away
through the Bible and seem to be perpetually stuck in the OT histories, an
endless cycle of sin, prophets, judgement, redemption, and then right back to
sin. a ton of those kings never even got
halfway through the cycle because they were such jerks they got themselves and
their families executed in an extraordinarily short amount of time (like, a
week after gaining the throne).
but more than the
rebellious kings, what is getting to me this time is those prophets. daggum, it is not glorious. not at all.
i do not envy their occupation.
however, they didn't get to choose it.
they were told to go be a witness, to all kinds of people in ALLLLL
kinds of ways. and they didn't even stop
to say "Yes, Lord." the next verse is them talking to others, telling
them there's another way, a righteous way, to go.
now the problem
continues: in addition to those values and beliefs, there are a couple goals
and dreams. but for the most part….that
part of the list is already done and accomplished. the other few i don't have a whole lot of say
in, or else maybe i'll toss them out or cross them off.
elijah, jeremiah,
isaiah, jonah, ezekiel- none of them had too many plans that God thought were
more important than His. jonah disagreed for a bit, but he was overruled. every one of them were sitting around enjoying
daily life when out of the blue, God told them to drop what they were doing and
enter into a mysterious and insane mission with nothing to lean on but a
promise- and so they did.
couple hundred years
later, a couple poor fishermen and a tax collector and some of their buddies
make the same choice without even a promise.
two words, "follow" and "me" and they're all in. practically speaking, THEY'RE BONKERS.
fast forward a
couple thousand years and then there's us.
enjoying our daily lives, not worrying about too much, making our summer
plans… what if something random and crazy fell out of the sky and landed on
your front porch (if you have one). something telling you there's more out
there, and there are people on the other side of the globe that don't know
about it. and you're supposed to tell
them.
if that
"you" changes to "me" all of a sudden i hush up. i feel
like i'd want to be more like jonah than jeremiah. jackson, tennessee is not exactly the
promised land, but i doubt that i have the nerve to pluck up and move.
bonhoeffer, in his
eloquently composed "The Cost of Discipleship" had a section just on
this. we hold back- and we've been given
ten times the promises and guidelines that the apostles were. one of them was that it wasn't going to be
easy. but another one was that it would
be totally worth it. he lost me on a
couple of his general principles, but i kinda wanna go back and read those
sections before i decide to take on a guy like Bonheoffer.
right now, i
watching 3 of my favorite people on earth pack up and prepare to leave this end
of a very long state and move to the other end.
they were told to go and so they are going. part of me wishes that i had a place to go on
to, to feel like i'm moving forward and actually doing something….and the other
part really wants me to settle down here, get to the point where i'm more
comfortable with calling this place my home.
the other other part of me is confused and politely declines to make a
statement at this time.
what am i going to
do? well, i'm going to go to bed because it is almost 3 am. then i'm going to wake up and get ready for
work tomorrow night. and i'm going to
work as though tomorrow night will be the last time i see anyone there, knowing
that at any time it may actually be. i
might be headed the exact wrong direction, but i do have every confidence that
at the right time, God is strong enough to break through my brain and turn the
lightbulb on.
and if i get
swallowed by a beluga whale in the process, well, the life of an
un-extraordinary prophet ain't all blueberries and bubble baths- but what a
great story to tell later on!!
The people who need to be told... They're on our side of the globe, too, you know... The task here is in some ways very much the harder, (and so that much more in need of effective workers for the harvest!) because they've in a sense been inoculated against the Gospel already, and so already have a pre-formed resistance to understanding Truth we have to overcome before people will take things to heart...
ReplyDeleteThough on to a different topic, why do you think that Jonah ran away? ^_^
sorry- very valid point there. i agree COMPLETELY with the idea that many many people here in a more freedom and rights-based way of thinking have been so surrounded by religious people/talk/puplicity, etc, and the place religion has had in our nation's history (though it's less than many think)that they are totally desensitized and hardened against the truth, and this poses a huge question or issue for Christians here who see so little progress (or even regress, in many ways).
Deletehowever, another very valid point keeps popping up in my head: yes, people EVERYWHERE need to be told, and this includes places like America.
BUT... the key difference (in my thinking) is that you would have a hard time finding too many people in this country in the situation that millions others are facing. there are thousands of people groups who have NEVER EVER even physically HEARD the name "Jesus"- even as a cuss word or secularized prayer or a model prophet.
so while Americans (for me, specifically, those in Jackson) still need witnesses and friends and prayer warriors and church members, i refuse to let that be an excuse for me to be lazy and stay where it is easy and comfortable -IF- God wants me somewhere else. i'm not saying He's called me to pack up and move- i'm just saying that there are tons of opportunities out there for Him to shake things up again like He's had a tendency to do, and my small imagination can't limit Him :)
in my human way of thinking, i would totally be on Jonah's side. if i were told to preach to those who had so much right to punishment, i'd probably put up a fight, too. Assyrians were known for raising the bar on brutalities and outrageous war practices and had been a major threat to Israel's national safety. jonah had a great reputation within Israel as a prophet and he was told to sacrifice that to tell their bitter enemies to repent. for all he knew, he'd lose much more than that ( i don't think he was expecting a whale, but...). from a human perspective, he had NO good reason to obey, and so i think he caved to that at first. he went through alot before he really let God have His say and explain His side of things...and Jonah stopped writing before we figure out how it ends. i don't really know why he decided to go THE OTHER WAY, but i also think staying right there in Israel is every bit as disobedient. maybe he was having a moment of preschooler-like stubbornness, but it did give God a great chance to show grace to some pagan sailors as well as get a guy swallowed by a fish in order to show that He loves EVERYONE, not just israelites (who took "God's chosen people" a bit far in some cases).
Oh definitely! A person should certainly follow their calling wherever it might lead - I'm totally in agreement there! =) It's a principle that reminds me of something Francis Schaeffer once wrote which I often try to reflect upon.
ReplyDelete"The mountains are too high, history is too long, and eternity is longer. God is too great, man is too small, there are many of God's dear children, and all around there are men going to Hell. And if one man and a small group of men do not approve of where I am and what I do, does it prove I've missed success? No; only one thing will determine that - whether this day I'm where the Lord of lords and King of kings wants me to be. To win as many as I can, to help strengthen the hands of those who fight unbelief in the historical setting in which they are placed, to know the reality of "the Lord is my song," and to be committed to the Holy Spirit - that is what I wish I could know to be the reality of each day as it closes." -Francis Schaeffer
My own heart is for the ol' US of A, for reasons similarly heart-rending enough to make a topic itself... ^_^; But God gives each person their own responsibilities in life, and I wouldn't want to seem as though romanticizing one manner of calling over another here... The important thing always remains that a person up and pursues the call! =)
---
I'd say you nailed it! Oi, poor Jonah... If you've ever seen the "footprints in the sand" cliche, his story really does remind me of this comedic take on it I'd seen posted somewhere. ( https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/s720x720/480829_10151030945188337_654691604_n.jpg )
I'd always figured that Jonah did not seem to like the Ninevites... At all... And to my own way of thinking, traveling instead to an unfamiliar land was largely a protest in the manner of saying "Well, I'd be willing to undertake any arduous travel or task for God, EXCEPT FOR _________ " (Which is so oftentimes the ONE area which God will then ask us to give over to Him... ^_^; )