with Pharoahs like that, who needs a wadi?

of all the classic (and less classic) Bible stories, the Red Sea crossing always fascinated me.  it was near the top of my "I wish I could have been there" list, right up with that whole Mt Carmel incident and a sky full of angels singing about a new baby in a barn. 

just the thought of seeing every law of physics overcome- fire, water, and sticks doing things that fire, water and sticks would never ever do otherwise- an army of well-trained charioteers chasing down a couple million ragtag slaves who are just as confused as their shepherd leader who has very little idea of what's going on...what a great story!!

our adventure through the Bible had us in Exodus this week.  i had The Prince of Egypt playing the background music for the first several days, but knowing it must have been many more times as dramatic in real life. 

i wonder if it were coincidence that led a friend to forward a link to some PowerPoint slideshow made by someone who think they have the entire story worked out and can pinpoint exactly when and where the whole deal went down, including photos, maps, and un-retrievable evidence that proves every word in Exodus.

For some reason that didn't sit well with me.  i know and believe that every word is true, but i was sincerely disappointed in the way their material was presented.  it also reminded me of an episode i saw on the History Channel, which presented almost the same exact idea, with their own photos, maps, and un-retrievable evidence that showed how great and clever Moses was.

Clever?.. Moses?

i'm sorry- what Bible version are YOU reading?  Hand-picked by God, yes, but clever is not exactly how i would describe the man. 

i tend to shy away from stories that pull Bible verses and some hieroglyphics together and fit just enough of it together with some historical artifacts that "prove" the Bible stories...and leave God out of it entirely.

the History Channel told me how Moses was so brilliant that he led all of Israel to this specific point in 'near' the Red Sea that had this wadi that seasonally drained of water due to shifting winds so that they could scamper across on *mostly* dry (but still very very soggy) ground.  the Egyptians were apparently idiots because they tried to get across with their chariots but got stuck in the soggy mud and some of them died and going around the wadi would take too long and that's how Moses the fantastic tactician accomplished the Great Escape of the whole BC era.

well, i wasn't there much as i would have liked to have been.  and i have no doubt that there is truth in some of what they said. wadis = awesome. ( i really like that word!! wadi wadi wadi wadi wadi wadi wadi!!!) 

but i also know there's ALOT of truth that they left out, leaving them with a pretty cool story with a whole lot of holes in it that they cannot just patch over. 

the whole point of a miracle is that there is no other explanation for it.  those plagues?  the wise men could only figure out the first couple (which i found ironic- they were only multiplying the trouble on themselves) with their dark magic.  Moses was chosen because God knew He'd get all the glory  when Moses lifted a simple stick  before a wind blew and walls of water lined a DRY path to safety and freedom. 

secular America is seriously missing out.  some of them know about the plagues and fire-pillars and everything, some of them are still impressed with the History Channel that can't pick a side on anything approaching religion, but some of us want more.  and we have more!!  we have a God who can blow our minds with His greatness that is beyond all our powers of comprehension.  moving some water to the side?  effortless.  turning sticks to snakes and back to sticks… raining fire and brimstone down…  directing every single individual locust of the swarm that literally blanketed a nation?  He didn't break a sweat.  Moses didn't NEED to be a heroic military genius.  good thing, too- otherwise Israel would still stuck.  he knew his limitations, that they were many, and that he couldn't think of a single more unqualified person to listen to the burning bush and do what the I AM told him to.  what he was in the process of learning is that God has NO limitations and that every quality needed for any task would be found in this God.  God didn't need the help of the seasonal water flow, mountain range or any wadi. 

no matter the trouble, God is the answer.  Pharaoh = imposing, scary, angry and life-threateningly so. 

God= well, just watch. i think you'll be impressed.

no time like...right now!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BIeTvJ9U2dw

23 is just a weird number.

having a 23rd birthday is about as exciting as seeing tuesday follow another monday.  no new privileges or rights to celebrate or pretend to exploit, most long-time friends have graduated and gone on with their lives and we're all getting big-person jobs, settling into a routine.  i'm deciding right now i don't want 23 to be a routine year.

if ihad any wish to make for myself this coming year, i think this song comes closest to expressing it.  i want to live in such a way that i don't have regrets- lying awake all day (silly night shift!) wondering how it would be different if i had said spoken up when i should have, done something radical when the opportunity presented itself, blessed someone expectantly when i had the chance that might never come again.  if i live this year with God's approval being my ultimate aim and not holding back for fear of anyone around me, then it will be a good year indeed. 

the dramatic pause... and then-

as noted in the previous post, our sunday school class has been reading through Job this week and i stinkin' can't wait for tomorrow because the reading includes the best chapter EVER of Job, approaching my favorite chapter of the whole old testament.

but something struck me the other day right at 31:40… "and the words of Job are ended."

he's given his best for a solid three chapters of poetry proclaiming his innocence and frustration with the way his life has gone.  that much prose is enough to exhaust even a normal, healthy individual, much less one in Job's state of being. 

there was nothing left for him to say.

no more words to use to defend himself.

he's done.

finitando.

it's almost like you could see him right there, collapsing against a wall out of breath, out of energy, out of mind.  out of reach from his fantastic companions .  no more tears for him to cry, his only resources being some chunks of broken pottery. 

as soon as i read that, i had to stop and just stare at the finality of that statement. 

and then i wished i was there so i could give the poor guy a hug...despite the gross sores. ( ewwwww!)

i know EXACTLY how it looks like he felt, except that i was never a huge, successful man who was completely upright and righteous and so in tune with God that i couldn't find fault with myself even when i sat down and wracked my brains.

but other than that…

my mind went back to that summer two and a half years ago.  i was right at that point.  every tear fell away only to be replaced by several more.  every prayer felt like it was just hitting the ceiling and dropping to the floor.  i'd cut out most of the friends from my life and struggled to find purpose in my life.  i had no explanation for why so many other people had decided to hurt me, with the only conclusion (that i could see) being that somehow i must have deserved it in their eyes.  by trying to justify that i turned to a rabid form of self-loathing, but knowing that it was wrong yet not having any other excuse for them or for myself.  back then, the book of Job REALLY didn't make sense… i was totally on Job's side- if i was a good little Christian the way i thought i had been, then how could these horrible circumstances happen?  how could my life be so devoid of joy that i hated waking up each morning?  how could i know all the "right" answers to everything yet feel utterly alone and without God?

it took a couple months even beyond that point. 

but then the words of Evangeline (FINALLY!!) were ended.

there was nothing left for me to say.

no more words to use to defend myself.

i was done.

finitando.

but that's when it happened.

God spoke.  in a slightly different manner with me than with Job, but He most definitely spoke.  Job needed to hear how big, how amazing, how beyond imaginable God was- who better to tell him than God Himself? If God could hang the stars in the sky, He can see Job.  If He planned to create ostriches to be stupid (Job 39:17….good verse, read it ;), then Job most certainly couldn't doubt that God had planned Job's life down to the smallest detail and didn't want His creativity, integrity or justness disputed.  i needed to hear that He knew it all, had heard every single one of those prayers, had counted the innumerable tears and had just been waiting for me be done, so He could start something new in me.  my favorite part of my story is that the entire prayer of surrender...yeah.  i said just about nothing there.  the pastor was praying- i have NO idea what he said.  the church was singing one of my favorite and very applicable hymns ("Just As I Am") and all i said was "they're singing my prayer.  if you'll take me, i'm done talking."  and He said "okay. glad you made it- you're not late...just on time like I planned."  

both Job and I learned an awful lot about God in a surprisingly short amount of time.  there is indeed rest for the weary, a home for the wanderer, healing for such a heart-load of pain, forgiveness for the sinner, and life for the dead.  someone had told me that coming to God wasn't always a huge life-changing moment like it's something glamorize as being. 

there is absolutely NO WAY to UNDER-glamorize that experience.  the moment when Job opens his eyes in wonder and his jaw hits the sidewalk… awesome.  the moment when i shut up and suddenly felt life as though i'd been a zombie for the previous 21 years… incredible. 

i still have trouble learning how to be silent...takes practice, i guess.  but it's soooooo worth it no matter what on earth you have to go through to get there!!

i also have trouble keeping these posts to more manageable lengths...that also takes practice, i guess :)