no, it's not home. nor is it wal-mart, mcdonald's or a bar. it is Regions Bank. specifically, the one across the bypass from union. it is completely unexplainable; there is no good reason for people to consistently be this happy. i swear, sometimes it borders on ridiculous!! i have never been in a building like that which is full of people whose singular goal in life was to make someone else happy, even just for a minute. whether by some strange coincidence it's real, or even if it's totally faked, every time i set foot in there, i get at least 1 (usually more) "hello" and just listen to the workers talk and laugh and ask everyone in sight "is there anything else i can do for you today?" the first time i went to set up an account so i could actually get money from my paychecks instead of sending them back to the bank in NY, the manager-in-a-cubicle acted as though we were best friends. i had met him 5 seconds beforehand. it's like its own little RegionsWorld where every thing and every one is happy. they don't need money; happy is their currency and they distribute it liberally to anyone who crosses the threshold, which makes them thrilled. if anyone were to ever tell me they walked in and then out of that building without sensing they just had an abnormally good trip to the bank, i don't think i could believe them. i have actually heard of this happening, and i find it very weird...and sad.
the second time i had to talk to someone was at least 6 months afterwards. apparently when i set up an account, i'd also gotten an online username and password that i had no recollection of. refusing to talk to an automated phone, i talked to another important-person-in-a-cubicle. after explaining the issue, he immediately started calling people and demanding they drop whatever they were doing so they could all fix this grave dilemma. he seemed actually upset that something had gone wrong and kept asking if there were anything else he could do for me today. first thought was "dude, he's groveling. at this point he'd re-tie my sneakers if i told him to." since i can't see your faces of horror right now, i'll go ahead and admit that for 2 seconds i was really really tempted to ask him, just to see his reaction. (i didn't.) the problem was fixed; crisis averted and no casualties. but i left the building with the distinct impression that if they were any nicer at all, it would just be creepy.
last i checked i had a whopping 5 "followers" here on this blog. i'm pleased: that's at least 2 more than i expected :) so my feelings won't be crushed if i lose a couple of you in the next couple paragraphs…
most (ha!!) of (all 5 of…) you know i'm a "northerner,"... a "Yankee." well, we breathe sarcasm like southerners cook a good pot roast, which leads to fantastic reactions from happy, happy people in RegionsWorld. i feel bad when people don't understand it- it took a full school year before my kentuckian roommate knew i wasn't serious. poor girl! i put her through alot ;)
the reason i still feel like such a major jerk whenever i need to deposit a check at RegionsWorld is because i can be happy and sarcastic, or i can be stressed and tired and grumpy...and this just blows their collective happy mind. i think it was sometime last fall semester or else January when i drove the whole 6 feet to RegionsWorld and some fate decreed that JasonTeller would be my bank teller that day. *on a side note, nothing is aided by the fact that JasonTeller has what is known as a really good-looking face. and my roommate confirmed it, so i know it's true. this fact just turns this from just a story into more of a tragedy.* anyway...nothing would have happened except RegionsWorld had instituted a new policy or service or something to help detect, track down, and publicly execute identity thieves. i guess all the tellers were telled...told...to tell everyone who entered their sad-free RegionsWorld about said service. FYI, i was stressed this day. being a senior student in Nursing school does that to some people. so when JasonTeller asked me if i wanted to apply this new identity-saving service to my account, i said the first thing that came to mind (probably should have thought first…). i told him flat-out, "I'm a senior nursing major. if some creep wants my identity he can daggum HAVE IT!!! 2 weeks tops and he'll give it back to me anyway."
let.
me.
tell.
you.
i have NEVER seen a face go from "happy" to "clinically depressed" in 3 seconds flat before. he didn't even ask what else he could do for me today. it was as if RegionsWorld was the last area to remain untouched by all manner of crud that plaques the earth, but like a virus, i'd just infected the whole place. and crushed every last hope and dream left to JasonTeller. it appears he's never gotten that response before.
sometimes i wish i could always be that happy and just avoid or block out everything that could ever upset my own little universe where i'm in control, there are no insects, and all problems can be resolved in 1 hour like tv.
sorry people- i'm a human and i make mistakes. so are/do you. not to excuse my sins, but i'm taking one (tiny) step at a time. God hasn't given up on me, or i'd be dead right now, so i'm not giving up on Him. and some awesome day, just on the other side of that proverbial river, you'll see the real 'me'- the one that doesn't get migraines, say sarcastic things, crush joy or burn muffins.
i hope it's not that long until i can see JasonTeller without the pangs of guilt. he seems to have recovered well, once he picked his jaw up off the ground. good thing, too; that'd be a waste of a pretty face :)
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