there are some things you "know."
and then there are things that you know.
and things that you "know" that you don't know yet, but will.
quintessential example: parenthood
it's no duh that suddenly having a new tiny person in the household changes everything. absolutely everything. there is zero percent of your life that is untouched by this status change. now, I "knew" this before march.
but then march came, and with it, the wonder that is called parenthood. that's when I knew.
comparison: remember that one time senator walsh put her foot in her mouth and implied that nurses sit around and play cards all day? yeah. the myriad memes that arose from that comment caused millions of people to chuckle who knew that nurses also probably do work sometimes, but brought an uproar of bellowing laughter from nurses because they knew what they spent their shift doing.
I'm on the second side of all the parenting memes now. can't say I don't enjoy it though. it's not only been encouraging, but also enlightening. and also a little embarrassing. I've heard a billion times (because it's true) that your kid will reveal to you all kinds of things you didn't know about yourself. what I didn't hear is that this unfortunate behavior starts MUCH earlier than I thought, like by 6 months. can't walk, can't talk, can't feed or dress herself, but lil' bugaboo is now thoroughly convinced that there is no book, toy, song, food, or animal that compares to the flat, black rectangle I carry around with me. I know this is only the beginning, but that definitely shamed me into spending less time on my phone when she is around.
more positively, I have also regained a sense of simple wonder. how would I define "wonder"? well, now I would describe wonder as everything expressed by a baby encountering grass for the first time. she could not take her eyes off the long green blades all around her. she held her hands in front of her and kept running them through those tiny leaves, so fascinated that she was oblivious to me, even as I was holding her. and it was grass- GRASS, for pete's sake! but it's incredible to watch, because it gives me an excuse to get down on her level- literally- and be excited about things like spoons, flower petals, bath water splashes, and toes.
at some point she's going to get all mature and boring and just walk on through the fallen leaves without slowing down. it might be another 30 years before she remembers how cool grass is.
I'm guessing that it will get harder every year, but there are some things I don't ever want her to lose her wonder at- christmas, for example. how incredible is it: an omnipotent Deity who is larger than time, confines Himself to a human body. He reduces Himself to the humblest of all persons and spends His first night in a box full of goat food, because Airbnb wasn't a thing yet. (even if it had been, joseph wasn't made of denarii. he ain't affording all those charges!!) the sky over sheep-filled fields exploded with heavenly beings who sent a pile of shepherds- humans created in the image of God- to gaze in wonder at God, who had just been born in the image of man. God made good on His ancient promise to deliver humanity from the soul-crushing weight of sin.
we grow up "knowing" about life on this world, until we come to know true Life that continues in heaven for eternity. God, Who knows everything, chose to limit Himself for a time to "knowing," experiencing in a physical body things like scraped knees, stomach bugs, wrestling matches with brothers, hugs from a mother, family vacations, homework, splinters, bullies…
I want this kid of mine to only grow more amazed at this miracle. the look of quiet, happy awe that she had when she saw her fake little christmas tree is the look I want her to give to Jesus when she comes to know Him. and I want that to be soon. I want her to only "know" things I came to know in my circuitous route to Him.
dear bugaboo, that promise God made to adam and eve just after the first screw-up has been fulfilled, so that His second promise to you could come true as well. that's why we celebrate christmas. look at those twinkle lights on that fake little tree and know that the True Light is here to draw you to Himself. open the presents and remember that the eternal Presence is with you, just for the asking. so ask, that you may receive! keep your wonder- feed it, care for it, and let it grow unrestrained at this marvel.
know about christmas, know Christ, and celebrate accordingly, with the same joy as the angels.
