Hark it, you Baptist!

things that never get smaller:

-healthcare insurance coverage prices

-sin

-women's purses

-apparently, the universe

things that never get larger

-children's level of wide-eyed amazement at things that adults are simply too busy to give more than a passing thought to.

like Christmas.

it can't get larger because it's already maxed out, and it only shrinks as they "mature."

i was walking through the front yard of a friend (because it's shorter than walking all the way around to the walkway) and the strap of my favorite, $3 Brasilian purse snapped.  that night was when i realized my standards have changed when it comes to purses.  back when i first started carrying a purse and bought a real, adult purse, the one i got appealed to me and was just the perfect size.  it held everything i needed it to.

that list of things i need to have held in a purse has expanded, and now that i must go back to this purse, it is no longer big enough. this is a crisis of epic proportions, and necessitates the purchase of a purse that can hold everything i need for a nuclear war evacuation crisis. if the trend continues, and this purse break, i'll just have to upgrade to a suitcase.

the full list of necessities is too long to bother with.  it's like the Christmas list of things to do, most of which has already been eliminated as "sooo not happening."  i actually did a christmas card/letter, which was as adult-ish and organized as i could get this year. there is only so much i can get together before i snap.  sadly, the snapping of my mood happened a few hours after the snapping of the purse. i tried so hard, but i couldn't push it any more. 

there are some times and seasons that are harder for me to get on board with.  holidays are one of those times and seasons.  i'm psyched out for all you guys surrounded by happiness,  happy family members and happy foods and your favorite ad-free Pandora stations. that's not even sarcastic- i really am.  but i have no real concept of that.  that happiness fluctuates, flickers and then fizzes out.  it takes all my energy to keep it going, and once it's gone- that's it.

i'm tired of waiting for things to change, to get better, for people to stop being jerks, for walls to be torn down instead of built, for children to stop dying, for innocents to stop paying the price for evildoers, for money to grow on ficus trees, for Chip and Joanna Gains to come redo my house … the list goes on.  but i'm tired of waiting.  it's been years since i had any semblance of a happy holiday with my family all together.  don't even bother giving me the "no family is perfect" speech.  duh.  i know that.  but some have deeper ruts and potholes than others.  i'm so, so, so grateful for the 2 or 3 families that "adopt" me each holiday, and for a job where i can work and get paid to do what i love and be around my work family for the times i can't be with anyone else.  but even still, i spent most of the holiday time waiting- for the holiday time to end.  i'm sitting in Panera, which is jam-packed and hotter than a sauna, and i'm the only one sitting alone.  (and the 3 year old sitting facing me next table over has a scary-hideous doll.  i might even have nightmares over that thing.)  3 people i know have run over to say hi, then left because they are with friends and family and barely remember anything about me- which gets super-awkward super-quickly. 

i digress.  waiting for all those things to change seems pointless.  it's impossible to fathom any of those changes occurring.  that's what that is- a list of impossibilities. 

and then i went to church.

i love stories that start (or continue) that way.

i think it's become the new "thing" for pastors to choose some of the least appealing Bible verses ever and create sermons that expound on their usefulness and rich meaning hiding in those unending verses on ritual laws, sacrifices and genealogies.  if you tell me Matthew chapter 1 is your favorite passage, i'm going to call you a liar to your face next time i see it.  not that i'm knocking this new "thing." in fact, it may only be because this sunday was the third, fourth or twentieth time i've heard a sermon on Matthew chapter 1 that i did get something new out of it.

confession moment: i lost Jesus Points when i inwardly rolled my eyes as the pastor read every. single. name. in. all. 17. verses.  all of them. Saint Matthew did not even record all of them, either, i don't think.  i hate how grateful i am for that. i'm a bad Baptist- sorry.

but then i listened.  i listened to another list of impossibilities.

there are 47 names total, if i counted right, listed in verses 1-17. this doesn't count 14+ other persons referred to, but not named (Judah's brothers -11, Jeconiah's brothers- 2+, and Bathsheba). of those 47 names, i can easily count at least 15 inconsistencies, improbabilities or impossibilities.  and that's only Joseph's side of the genealogy, and only the names and situations i'm familiar with.

1. let's start with Abraham.  this guy is a fossil. one foot in the grave, the other on a 99-year old banana peel and -BAM!- he's a brand new dad.

2. Isaac.  technically, Abraham's second-born son who carried the promise despite a half-brother who could have sought revenge, and his dad's incredible wealth, and a near run-in with his dad's knife on an altar, involving a father-son retreat, a whole lot of questions, and a divinely appointed/visually impaired (?) ram.

3. Jacob. another second-born son, a class-act jerk/liar with a death threat…frankly, he just about deserved it. he got away with a limp, and an awareness of how close he came to being murdered slowly and painfully.

4. Judah.  son of Leah, who Jacob married BY ACCIDENT.  the scammer got scammed, big-time.  and the girl whose dad thought of as too ugly to find a husband (not even kidding you) became the mother of Judah, whose name means "praised one" because this time she said "this time i will praise Yahweh." instead of seeking favor from men, who clearly had morals anywhere but where they were supposed to be, she gained joy from the One who sees not as man sees.

5. Perez.  ummm, eww.  so he was born, it was gross, don't read this to children, moving on.

6. Boaz.  his mom was a hooker who was graciously spared the death sentence placed on every single other soul in her city (except for the family she begged mercy for).  not only was she granted her life, but also a family within God's chosen people and a prominent spot in Jesus's family line.

7. Obed.  his mom was a chick with major resolve and loyalty… from MOAB.  Moabites were not known for their faithfulness to Yahweh or their morals.  intermarriage was not supposed to happen, but this one did and was blessed beyond belief.

8. David.  greatest, coolest, most popular king of all began his days as a shepherd.  the runt of the litter (he had, like, 7 thousand brothers.  or 7.  either way.) and was practically forgotten by his dad.  good thing he was a hottie, or he'd have nothing- NOTHING- going for him.

9. Solomon.  also not the best family-friendly story, but nonetheless used by God. an awfully unholy relationship meant he was born.  later on, following his dad's example, he won zero "world's best dad" mugs. trophies and plaques from round the world, but his home life was a mess of rather epic proportions.

10. Bathsheba. not even mentioned, probably a Hittite and possibly a pagan.  it is unclear how much of the affair was her fault, but after losing the resulting son, God gave her another one- Solomon, the wisest and richest king of all time, everywhere.

11. Uriah. i know, i know.  he's not even part of the lineage.  he *was* one of King David's best friends, had super-high rank in the legendary "Mighty Men"- until Dave decided to sleep with Bathsheba his wife, have him straight-up murdered and not think twice about it.  i love how even though he had no genetic contribution, it's his name mentioned, not Bathsheba.  he was faithful to his king, his country, and likely also Yahweh- faithful to the death and honorable to the end.  and his name is here, hundreds of years later.

12. Rehoboam.  an idiot who destroyed the empire Solomon built.  his dad was in the grave all of ten seconds before the bad decision-making began and he alienated 95% of his subjects, who subsequently rejected him. for some odd reason, he was not assassinated.

13. Hezekiah. spared miraculously from death by Sennacherib and the full might of the Assyrian army, then spared miraculously from death by illness.  stories like his are awesome, and rare.  read it. fun fact:  one of the most well-known prophecies regarding Jesus's birth (likely) came during that invasion of Assyria, when every Israelite was shaking in his sandals and puking from sheer terror.  Micah 5:2-5a says:

 "But you, Bethlehem Ephrathah, who are too little to be among the clans of Judah, from you shall come forth for me one who is to be ruler in Israel, whose coming forth is from of old, from ancient days.  Therefore he shall give them up until the time when she who is labor has given birth; then the rest of his brothers shall return to the people of Israel.  And he shall stand and shepherd his flock in the strength of the Lord, in the majesty of the name of the Lord his God.  and they shall dwell secure, for now he shall be great to the ends of the earth.  and he shall be their peace."

Micah 5:1 and 5:5b-6 both mention sieges and Assyrians and swords and scary things.

14. Babylon.  instead of simply killing the entire royal line after the Babylonian captivity, Jechoniah survives and so does his family line.  captivities are perfect times for bad things to happen, for people to get murdered, for rebellions to be squashed and for God to show His hand in incredible ways by not having any of those things happen.  the Babylonians were not a much better option than the Assyrians, but neither could defeat Yahweh's plan.

15. may as well bring it up, even though everybody knows it. Mary.  she was only half-way married, according to what i've heard of ancient betrothal customs of the day.  there was a legal contract (Step 1), but the actual wedding ceremony (Step 2) had not happened yet.  one source i read stated that because of this, the whole oops-Mary-is-pregnant thing was only a small scandal, instead of the full-blown, front-page news story it could have been, but still.  God said "it's time for Christmas" and He found Mary.  the fact that she had no idea what she was doing had no bearing on the situation.  God did know what He was doing, and she submitted.

*** 

the shepherds sitting on a hill that lonely night of unknown exactness were also tired of waiting.  they were bored out of their skulls, playing chess for the millionth time with each other, hopefully with their sheepies safe in the paddock for the night.  taking turns watching for stray wolves or bears or IRS agents, they all saw the most unexpected guy.   

he was shiny.

he was in the sky.

and he was SINGING.

and then all his shiny, singing buddies showed up too.

their waiting was over. 400 years of a whole lot of NOTHING, and now the time foretold had come.  and instead of busting into the royal palace bedrooms and priests' compounds and even the Holy Temple, the Herald Angels came to the shepherds, and they Harked. 

there's at least 15 reasons why Hark the Herald Angels Sing is basically my favorite Christmas song of all time forever.

1-14 are because that sight, on that night, is so incredibly incredible is blows my mind to smithereens and makes my pulse go up and my eyes tear up and.. and.. i can't understand how anyone can hear that song and not jump up and down and go tearing up and down the sanctuary aisles.  EVEN THE BAPTISTS.

like, COME ON NOW.  THERE ARE ANGELS SINGING RIGHT OVER YOUR HEADS. 

SHOUTING, " JESUS IS HERE!!!!  HE'S  FINALLY, FINALLY HERE!!! "

JOIN THEM!!!! 
WHY ARE YOU STILL SITTING?!?!

reason 15 is that there are few other hymns that contain so much theology from Genesis to Revelation that speak to what most humans feel, if you can bear to sing past the second verse (…when did churches stop doing that?).   because this post isn't long enough, i'm going to put all the verses here.  you may not have another chance this Christmas season, and that is a travesty.

Hark! the herald angels sing, "Glory to the newborn King!"

Peace on earth and mercy mild, God and sinner reconciled.

Joyful, all ye nations rise- join the triumph of the skies

with angelic hosts proclaim, "Christ is born in Bethlehem!"

Christ, by highest heaven adored, Christ the everlasting Lord:

late in time behold him come, offspring of the virgin's womb.

veiled in flesh the God-head see, hail the incarnate deity

pleased as man with men to dwell, Jesus our Emmanuel!

hail the heaven-born prince of Peace, hail the Son of Righteousness!

Light and Life to all He brings, risen with healing in His wings.

mild He lays His glory by, born that man no more may die;

born to raise the sons of earth, born to give them second birth.

come Desire of Nations, come, fix in us Thy humble home.

Rise, the woman's conquering seed- bruise in us the serpent's head!

Adam's likeness now efface, stamp Thy image in its place!

Second Adam from above, reinstate us in Thy love.

Hark! the herald angels sing, "glory to the newborn King!"

the social rejects of the day were the first to get the baby shower invitations. the poor ones, the bottom of the totem poles, the victims of a screwed up society who had even worse political scenery than we do-  God must thrive on possibilifying impossibilities, because the whole Bible's full of it.  somehow, out of a chronically depressing situation, hope came. no parties were thrown, no family get-togethers, no lunatics destroying the marketplaces with their insane bargain-hunting. 

the shepherds just had to go.  they may have washed up and changed shirts (if they had a spare), but probs not.  they had no gift but the gift of their simple, joyful acceptance of the fact that their Savior had come, and their delicious odor.  it fit in well with the barnyard scene.

if your life is full of impossible hopes and dreams, you are in good company. 

if you are lonely, and hopeful- or maybe unhopeful

or fearful, surrounded by enemies and under siege from all sides

or looking at your family/living situation and wondering what the snap is going on

or just waiting. waiting with your tissues in hand and your heart on the line

or aching for that healing

or still wounded by that serpent and his curse, suffering from the fact that we trace our lineage to Adam, through murderers, hookers, rapists, terrorists, rebels, and every other sort of sinner just like me.

Hope came, and it is coming again.  Emmanuel really is with us, even when we don't feel Him.  the Second Adam is doing everything the first one couldn't.  someday soon, the impossibilities will be no longer.

i do not have the voice of an angel, nor can i levitate above your head and shine.

what i can do is cry.  i'm shedding tears this Christmas because of several deep-cutting impossibilities that are weighing me down this season.  i'm not okay now, so you just need to be okay with that.  don't try to fix it- just let me feel this now.  don't worry- i know what's coming. the angels are coming again, and so is Christ, by heaven's highest adored, Christ the Everlasting Lord with more Light, Life and Healing that i can fathom.

some of these tears are tears of Hope.  i can almost hear those herald angels still, and that song is a beautiful, beautiful one.

and i just wanna keep harking for a little while longer.